Working on Ricks commitment papers, D**n where is Ken when you need him? :)
Type: Posts; User: Pal334
Working on Ricks commitment papers, D**n where is Ken when you need him? :)
Subject: Counseling
After 40+ years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling.
When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever...
EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 50
Begin by sitting or standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.
With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out...
Best Blonde Joke
Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department.
One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in.
They worked up one side of...
COPPER WIRE DISCOVERED
Having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year outside of New York City, New York scientists found traces of copper cable dating back 100 years. They came to the conclusion that...
1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
"I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the
Kids to copulate me."
2. New Orleans Saint RB George...
May be a repost, but still funny
Bear Remover........
A man in rural Alaska wakes up one morning to find a bear on his
roof. So he looks in the yellow pages, and sure enough, there's an ad ...
Polish hunters got a pilot to fly them into the Canadian wilderness, where they managed to bag two big Bull Moose.
As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only...
Good CYA guy, thats the way to go :)
An old guy (not in the best of shape) was working out in the gym when he spotted a sweet young thing.
He asked the trainer that was nearby, "What machine in here should I use, to impress that sweet...
The Woman Marine Pilot
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their
parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next
day, the kids came back and, one...
WOMEN
A real woman is a man's best friend.
She will never stand him up and never let him down.
She will reassure him when he feels insecure and
comfort him after a bad day.
She will...
God and lawn Care God said: "Francis, you know all about gardens
and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet?
What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds ...
A single glass at night could mean a peaceful, uninterrupted night sleep.
I kid you not...
California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir, and Pinot...
An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio , Texas, leading
an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town,
to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the...
Things Difficult to Say When Drunk
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN...
7 DEGREES OF BLOND INTELLIGENCE
FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said "How...
WOMEN WHO KNOW THEIR PLACE
Barbara Walters, of 20/20, did a story on gender roles in Kabul ,
Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict.
She noted that women customarily walked five...
F-16 vs. C-130
(Very quickly for those without a military background, the F-16 , is a very fast Fighter plane, one or two man crew,. The C-130 is a very slow cargo plane multiple member...
Norwegian Fire Dept.
One dark night outside a small town in Minnesota, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out...
An Italian walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Italy on
> business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he...
Well!!!!! Are you going to keep us in suspense?
This is an advantage of being "mature" the stories are new every time you hear it :)
Not to worry, I thought your joke was hilarious :)
A good education story....
A former Sergeant, having served his time with the Marine Corps, took a new job as a school teacher; but just before the school year started he injured his back.
He was...
Two businessmen in Sun City West Arizona were sitting
down for a break in their "soon-to-be" new store.
As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few
shelves set up. One said to the other, "I...