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Why do we find out these things after the fact? You'd think someone would be good enough to tell us up front, "Hey, you don't wanna eat that," but no, not a single word. It's just like the time I had...

You see dead ones out walking? Zombiedillos? Oh, you mean when you are...never mind.

Ants are insidious creatures. They do all that tunneling just so they can sit back and laugh at us. Personally, I think they are controlled by one ant with a really large brain that figures out all...

I sense a vendetta. Nothing better in the cool October air than a vendetta.

Never kill an armadillo, Alan. Hundreds will come to the funeral. Hundreds more will demonstrate on the road in front of your ranch.