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Don't worry, they make swim diapers. I guess the question is, do they make swim diapers in your size?

The Marine Gunnery Sgt noticed a new Marine Pvt. and barked at him, "Get over here! What's your name Marine?" "John," the new Marine Pvt. replied.

"Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart...

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him...

I did that too. But, there was a set of channel locks on the tv so that we could turn the shaft that used to have a knob.

Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs...

I went out the other night and did something I seldom do. I had a few drinks too many. Then I did something I never did before. I took a cab home. Sure enough, there was a DWI checkpoint. Since I was...

There was an engineering student walking through the quad and seeing his fellow engineering student on a bike. He asks, "where did you get that bike." His friend reply's, "I was walking along and...

So, these four guys had, for years, taken a weeklong backpacking trip every year. This year, Fred had some bad news for his buddies: "My wife says 20 years of these trips is long enough, and that if...

The cops came to my door and told me my dog was chasing a kid down the street on a bike. I told them my dog doesn't have a bike and went back inside.

At the end of a long line for train tickets were a random woman and a random man. When they got to the ticket counter the salesman said that there were only two sleepers left on the train and that...

Now that is funny.

As an engineer, I will just say how true that is. :)

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else
to hold them while you chop.

Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by...

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of...

Rick, your camping one reminded me of this sign.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_c9gaOWdmxT0/TPrRz9yOVEI/AAAAAAAAALA/i-tyQYVqfws/s1600/BEAR%2BWARNING.jpg