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https://www.amazon.com/Shark-Stainless-Straight-Barber-Professional/dp/B003BRQ36O/

I prefer Derby blades for actual shaving, but I ended up with most of a box of Sharks that I didn't want to just...

More likely to be seen as a weapon. A can of pork and beans in a grocery bag is just plain old groceries.

Besides, there's got to be some extra shaming available for a guy who gets his clock...

When I lived in Dallas, several of us that lived ~250 yards from Albertson's would walk instead of drive, because driving you had to go a mile the wrong way to get to the turnaround lane, whereas...