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That was so baaaaaad.

Sharing the maidens is doable. Sharing the ale...the lads began to grumble at that. With enough ale you forget about the bossy wenches...for a while. But there was that one wench Lorena that took...

Is there room on that boat?

If this keeps up we'll be down to card games and smoking cigars.

Yeah...See there. Barbarians just toss the plunder in the wagon and ride off with ye maiden back to the fortress to drink ale and have a feast. Sadly, the fortress is full of wenches. Bossy wenches....

You forgot plunder. We get to pillage and plunder. There is a lot to be said for plundering. Oh, yeah...looting. Love me some looting. Carry off a wee maiden and...well, I forget the rest. It's been...

I've got to think about that. I'll be back.

Well...uh...Barbarians can ride horses and in wagons. They don't have to trudge. There is nothin' in the Barbarian Code of Ethics that requires a bonafide Barbarian to trudge, walk or skip for that...

Being a Barbarian would solve the problem of seasickness and still retain the stink. I'd prefer being a Barbarian of 1. That whole wielding a sword thing is beyond me. Dragging a sword is a bit more...

Candles? Pitch? Animal fat. There are lots of options. Assuming of course, you survive this post-apoc world you envision. The word "victim" was coined for a reason.