Newbie here need advice please

Hi all,

I'm trying to to find the right approach to talk with my partner about the need for having a plan if things go south here in Sacramento. I don't have tunnel vision on a catastrophe but more so chaos that always follows from people. We live in the burbs with no real defensible space. I'd like to move to a place with more space between neighbors for security and more room for gardens, water storage etc. He grew up in Washington state a lot of the time in the woods with no running water or electricity. He knows how to hunt, fish, shoot ride and drive any type of vehicle which I love and absolutely appreciate but I know he doesn't like the idea of living like that, not that we have to but it's safe to be prepared if we do.

Does anyone else understand this with family and friends and how do you start the conversation without sounding like a whack-a-do.

Thx!

Does your partner share any of your concerns? If not, he needs to know what your concerns are and you his. How exactly to approach the topic can be as simple as something like "Do you ever worry about X, because I sure do?"

If you both sit down and perform a threat assessment (make it realistic, not movie or fantasy driven) and then rank them in order of most likely to occur. For me that involves weather related events.

After doing that and ranking them, preparations on how to come through that event on the other side starts.

Here are some things that may or may not be relevant to where you live.

Weather (hurricanes, tornadoes, etc)
Wild fires
House fire (yours)
Earthquake
Flooding
Chemical spill (train, tanker truck, etc)
Power outages
Any Nuc plants nearby? (I know one was shut down 30 years ago)
Military bases nearby?
Large venues (sports arenas, shopping malls, anyplace where large numbers gather)
The above three can be targets for acts of terrorism or accidents
Civil unrest

Your and your partner will need to develop your own list. Start slowly.

Thx! Hmm well I have not really approached the topic with him outright. I have made comments here and there. I've mostly been hesitant because I was watching an episode of doomsday preppers on nat geo and he made several comments about it, shook his head and laughed. I know those shows can be over the top but it made me shy away from the conversation entirely. I know he doesn't really think about things that could go wrong, but I do. These are my main concerns

Tsunami flooding from the Pacific Ocean
Earthquakes
Mather and Mclellan AFB close to me, closed base's but still potential threats
Train yard a quarter mile from my home
EMP
Solar flares
Nuclear meltdown from San Luis Obispo
Perceived drought
Major civil unrest and upheaval from ALL of the above AND just the fact that I live in a suburb of Sacramento where the state Capitol resides

My main concern is the fleeing people and civil unrest

Maybe I could start with earthquakes and take it from there

What would we do if we had an earthquake and were without power for a week? Without water for for three days? Couldn't get gas because the gas stations didn't have power or the grocery store? The ATMs would be down, the banks would be closed...you can see how something like an earthquake expands to every avenue of life. Have you considered Wildfire? Crash mentions is above and I know it has been in the Sacramento Bee. Even if you shelter in place and avoid the panic of your neighbors you still have to worry about food and water, sanitation and how to survive through the disaster. How would we get through it (whatever IT is) might be a good way to approach the subject.

The part that sounds tough for you is that maybe he doesn't want to go back to the way things used to be for him. If you can impress upon him that you love life's conveniences too and don't want to do the back to nature thing in some way, maybe that would work. Start small like a small event that might only affect you for 3 or 4 days. Or if you had to leave in case of tsunami or earthquake, what would you take with you (not only food and clothes but important documents and money.) If he's lived it, of course he's going to laugh at those prepper shows on TV. Leave them out of the discussion. Do you have a garden now? Maybe express a desire for a place with more space to do that. Does your work, and his, support moving farther away from the city? That's another consideration.

Even a small patio can support a small container garden. A tomato plant perhaps some herbs.

Thx Rick and Lowkey. Yes we do have a garden but I'd love a bigger one. I have talked about the need for a bigger generator because of power outages and pg&e as a whole here, he's on board with that of course ha. I live about 15 miles northeast of the state capital, I'm in between a railyard and freeway, I80 and surrounded by residential areas. I'd prefer to be further up the hill. We've recently been talking about moving and he's good with that we need more room in general for the dirt bikes and tools etc. Now it's just "where". I don't like clone homes or new construction, he doesn't want another extreme fixer or older than 1975. My company allows my dept to work from home, I just need to be within 2 hours of my home office and have good internet. He's a manager at a grocery store and doesn't want to have more than a 30 min drive. There are other factors about where as well. I have GOOD supplies ready to go for the truck and the bikes if need be along with our important docs. I feel a sense of urgency, not sure why, but I don't want to push or become extreme. And no, no prep shows anymore. Thx for listening to me and the pointers. 😊

The sense of urgency comes from not feeling in control. If you put together a plan for your family, something in writing, then you start to put yourself back in control and that sense of urgency will begin to dissipate. Start by identifying what you believe is the most likely threat to your family and list ways to mitigate that threat and/or respond to it. For example, you may think the most likely event is an earthquake. While you cannot prevent an earthquake, you can list out ways of responding to one. On the other hand, you may think house fire is your greatest threat. There ARE ways to prevent house fires and ways to respond should one occur. By drilling down from the most probable to the least likely and describing how to prevent and/or respond, you will put together a disaster plan that you and your family can live with.

Keep in mind that you don't have to have a big generator to get by. I powered two houses (refrigerator, fan and light in each) with a small 1850 watt generator for 10 days. AC would have been nice, but not needed to survive. My only issue was the noise which is why I bought a small Honda that is very quiet.

Great advice! I broached the subject last night. I did tread lightly, because I can go into theories - alien, government, universe etc, but that's a whole different issue Haha, anywho I just simply asked what his thoughts were if we had a power outage or another issue with pg&e could we manage for a few days or so. He agreed we should get a generator, not a large or loud one, but possibly a Honda, to power the fridge and lights, he said no air washer dryer etc. So we agreed!! Small step and victory yay! We also agreed buying a new home in a couple years is doable. So I have time to work on him and that in regards to location and certain needs, which again will be a whole different convo. But another victory 😊.

I have the Honda 2200i and it is awesome. Also with the inverter type generators you can power/recharge your electronics as it produces very clean power.

Personally, I just prep. I don't wait for anyone else to agree or not. For twelve years we lived in a place that could be without electricity or water as a regular occurrence. I just got in the habit of preparing for it. Now when something happens and I have what is needed at hand, I look like a hero genius (which for me, is a lot harder than for most folks). The main thing I have to be sure of is having a number of empty five gal gas cans on hand to fill up when it looks like things might go South (or North as it is for us). I keep the vehicles full of gas and the boat (27 gal) full of gas all the time. I have to run the boat a lot to keep the gas fresh in it but, oh well, such is the price of prepping. What you do is figure out how much gas you're going to need and then double it and you might have enough...

Water is usually not a problem. I like bottled water over tap water but when times get tough I will drink it. I know several people with wells and the loan of a generator to run the well gets me all the water I want. I wait until those little tailgator generators go on sale at Harbor Freight for $80 or so, and I get one. They run on 2 cycle gas but I've got plenty of 2 cy oil also.

This year I'm going to put a 9000W generator permanently in the tool room bolted to the floor and vented to the outside. With it in there it will reduce the noise and prevent me from loaning it out during the non-emergency times (like I did with my other big generator).

Some folks spend what I consider to be an inordinate amount of money to walk around hitting a little white ball in tiny holes, lakes and sand pits.... I buy junk like generators, gas cans, lanterns, propane stoves, 25 gal propane bottles, etc...

Do I wait for permission to do it, Nah... It is easier and more productive to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission...

Alan

Got to agree with Alan on this one, and it is a pet peeve of mine with the "modern era". All of this "permission asking" and talking to agreement is BS.

Some things require no permission when you are an adult. Especially common sense actions. If I need permission to stash away a few packs of ramen, some mac & cheese and a half dozen cans of spam there is something deeply wrong with my relationship.

But what if...he/she says no need for this...they don't believe they will ever get a hangnail and need clippers...that's what the government is for...

I lived through my first tornado induced two week power outage and road closure when I was 20 and had just married. I have never been unprepared since that time.

I am not talking about zombie Apocalypse or end of the world scenerio, just preps for things I have already lived through and happen year after year.

Part of your concerns are due to inexperience and lack of knowledge of how to use what you already have available. Solving that comes with time and study.

Part of your "social unrest" deal is not just living in the burbs, it is the culture of the northwest coast. You feel unprotected, and with good reason, you are unprotected. Moving to a rural area, or any area anywhere, will not solve that problem. That comes from knowing that your mate can not or will not do whatever it takes to protect you. You might feel even more unprotected in a rural area, far from anyone that can hear your screams for help.

So now you have a generator and you are worried about the crowded conditions and social unrest. All the while you are the only house for miles around with lights and a fridge running!

How does that work out?

Reminds me of the REI study of the most needed items in the wilderness. What was number one? Food, fire making gear, cooking gear or water purification gear?

NOOOO!

the number one most important item for their hard core wilderness clients was their headlamp. Darkness was their greatest fear.

Get some priority sorted out with what you fear.

I keep some batteries on hand but do not rely on them. The little hand cranked flashlight/radio and lantern are the standby lights.

Alan

Thanks Alan & kyratshooter, I have no problem with your thoughts glad to have you in the convo. That being said I think you misunderstand my asking for tips on how to start a conversation without sounding like a paranoid whack-a-do. That is in no way asking for permission for anything lol I'm not "that " person. Truth be told I'm asking my partner to sale his home, to buy another place possibly a little bit further from his son, which results in a longer drive to pick him up and maybe longer drive to his work. All while my son lives with us and I work from home. Why, because I worry about a solar flare, emp or tsunamis in Japan. So treading lightly is not only necessary but respectful. As for prepping, that's covered already, got plenty of food, water, supplies, all types of illumination, firearms, knives , fishing gear, 4 wheel drive and dirt bikes. Will my guy do whatever it takes to protect his family, hell yes in a heartbeat, but yes I still fear humanity or should I say inhumanity, because I live in the real world not to mention the large homeless camps near the railroad yard. I'm open to helpful advice and tips, but I'm not open to tell me what I should and shouldn't fear or worry about, what I should or should not prepare for, we each have our own concerns and I can learn from everyone. I'm here to learn, grow and glean any advice I can. I'm open to picking your brains but I'm closed to criticism. Love the passion tho. 😊

Crashdive he has a couple larger ones he's loaned to his dad who lives in Georgetown a area where pg&e shuts down the power for day's at a time so small and quiet is the way to go for now, we'll check out that Honda. I'll look at harbor freight too for those ones as well Alan.

The little HF generators are what I use for loaners. Plus I use them as well for a variety of non-survival activities.

".....I worry about a solar flare, emp or tsunamis in Japan. "

I just about never worry about any of those things, or any of the other myriad of cataclysmic catastrophes that could befall mankind in general.

I just have what it takes for an extended camping trip but I still stay at the Holiday Inn Express. The things that are going to happen for me to use my stuff is going to be very temporary, at most, two weeks in an extreme situation. If any of those other things happen, well, we'll all be in for a bit of culture shock. So, that's not what I worry about. I worry about if the fish are biting, if the snails are going to get into the pea patch, why my tomatoes aren't making... you know serious stuff.

Truthfully, from my standpoint, were I in your shoes, I'd be worried about how much it was going to cost to escape from California.....


Alan

Ang, you will find that if you do prioritize your list of concerns and start preping with number one on your list that those preps will cover many of your other concerns as well. By the time you get to number five or six you probably already have most things covered.

Relocation is a tough one, especially if it involves family (further away from or sometimes closer to) or career changes.

Yeah, What Crash said. Prioritizing puts you in control, develops your family plan by defining what you think is the most likely threat and how to deal with it. The odds of the really big stuff happening are pretty remote. The problem of a house fire, a power outage or an earthquake are much greater, IMHO.

I can now see why you are having this problem.

You work from home because you are afraid of EMP, solar flare, and Tsunami on the other side of the planet?

Lady, moving will not solve that problem.