semi-sleep
by
, 10-14-2009 at 08:59 PM (9545 Views)
I don't know what blogs are for so I'll just rant.
It came up in a discussion on the forums a while back about how we go through life asleep, unaware of the world around us. This is true. I believe some people are more awake than others and some I think move through life in a state of semi-sleep. The ones who are asleep are very self centered and detached. They think they are the only one that is important and are oblivious to the web of life around them. Selfish.
Others, like the aboriginals in australia are awake, attached to the earth and the animals, to each other. Not only do they think differently, they are genetically different. they think about everything in their field of view, every sound, everything they touch. Did you see that stop sign you just ran through, or what color was the dress of the lady walking beside your car that was on the cell phone and didn't notice you either?
I find myself somewhere in the state of semi-sleep, awakening, but not yet fully attached, mostly because I was raised in modern society with certain luxuries and menials in mind. I feel that moving farther from modernization and industrialization is a natural progression for anyone who delves into truly "surviving". How many matches can you take in your pack into the woods, and how many fires could you start... how many days will those matches last before you have to eat raw meat? what do you do if you break all 6 of your knives?
while I was driving down the road alone today, wind through the side glass, rain misting on the shield, cruising slowly down a back country road, I began to think of how much stuff I recognize out there, and how when I see it instantly I know it's uses.
I thought about how only a few years ago I was oblivious to most of the flowers and trees out there, they were just trees and they didn't matter as long as they didn't get in my way.
As I learn more about living off the land, I find myself in more and more of these moments, with more desire to just stop my life as it is and be a part of it in all it's splendor and beauty. We truly have a garden of eden here. Fertile soil between two rivers that converge into a lake, rolling landscape, long growing season and wild foods all year long.
How could I have missed it all those years as a teenager? was it hormones? was I just attuned differently because it is peoples nature to become more attached to technology and be dependent on industrialization? well, they may have their benefits, but I've never felt as alive as the years I spent out in the woods. As I've grown older, it seems I've come back to that. so it's life's circle, eh?
maybe, but does a circle look the same all the way around? My life certainly hasn't. It's had all sorts of twists and turns. There were times when money was a prized thing and there was plenty of it to be had and not enough to buy with it, now it's just the opposite. There were times when nothing could stop me, and there have been times when it seemed like I could never get back up.
Now it seems more and more every day, that I'm getting closer to the earth, closer to god, closer to who I am, and what it means to be a human being and be a part of this creation. Closer to what it means to be truly alive.
It seems I'm waking up, still a bit groggy from all that sleep, but slowly coming to.
Now I just need some coffee...a bit of ironic humor