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View Full Version : 1st Annual Cootism Competition Classic


rebel
10-26-2008, 01:56 AM
1234567899
chiye tanka
10-26-2008, 02:07 AM
Rebel, what the he// are you talking about.
chiye tanka
10-26-2008, 03:25 AM
No no, now that you've explained it, I'm in.
nell67
10-26-2008, 07:48 AM
rebel,of course you win,you opened the game in the middle of the night when only a few members are online and then closed it before everyone got a chance to see it,you can't win by the way,Rick,Sarge and Coot didn't judge it yet,per your rules.
crashdive123
10-26-2008, 08:54 AM
Winning a one man competition is kind of like winning the Gong Show. It may make you feel good for a spell, but you're sure not gonna tell your friends about it.





How'd I do?:D
nell67
10-26-2008, 08:58 AM
I'll vote for that,but according to the rules set forth by rebel,my vote doesn't count:(
wareagle69
10-26-2008, 11:17 AM
Winning a one man competition is kind of like winning the Gong Show. It may make you feel good for a spell, but you're sure not gonna tell your friends about it.





How'd I do?:D

hmm seems vagely familar something about mopeds( i'll be politcally polite here cuz i know one member here that rides one)
Ole WV Coot
10-26-2008, 04:59 PM
It is truly an honor to bring wisdom in a clear precise way that everyone can understand. I CAN be bribed, not cheap but reasonable. I realize setting a goal that none can attain is lofty but as sure as someone comes close I will admit it. Good Luck and sorry Son, can't play favorites.
Rick
10-26-2008, 07:25 PM
I'm honored to be judged an official judge. Perhaps the neatest thing since drop seat underwear.
chiye tanka
10-26-2008, 07:28 PM
My Eyes!!!!!
Rick
10-26-2008, 07:30 PM
You are in serious need of a spirit talker......or wild turkey.
chiye tanka
10-26-2008, 07:33 PM
Probably both.
Rick
10-26-2008, 07:39 PM
Now there's something I can drink to.
trax
10-27-2008, 01:35 PM
Kinda sounds like y'all want to be Dad when you grow up, lucky for him he already is.
chiye tanka
10-27-2008, 03:02 PM
Trax, from what I know of you're dad, I'd say being like him wouldn't be a bad thing.
trax
10-28-2008, 09:27 AM
Trax, from what I know of you're dad, I'd say being like him wouldn't be a bad thing.

I'm certain that he'll give that statement it's full and due consideration and consider it from every perspective that he possibly can before agreeing with you completely.
Ole WV Coot
10-28-2008, 10:33 AM
You know me well Son. Need I say more?
trax
10-28-2008, 05:19 PM
You know me well Son. Need I say more?

Now fellas, see with a ringing endorsement such as that, I'd say the winner of the 1st Annual Cootism Award is as clear as, why it's as clear as that first beautiful drop of shine that hangs tenaciously off the end of the worm on your still, a-gleaming in the sunshine, before dropping gently into the crock with the tiniest of splashes...promising great things to come. That's just how clear that is.
wareagle69
10-28-2008, 05:34 PM
sorry folks need to speak slower around me i left my book on translations at home and we all no i don't know nothin unless i read it or allan teaches me it
Ole WV Coot
10-28-2008, 09:46 PM
Now fellas, see with a ringing endorsement such as that, I'd say the winner of the 1st Annual Cootism Award is as clear as, why it's as clear as that first beautiful drop of shine that hangs tenaciously off the end of the worm on your still, a-gleaming in the sunshine, before dropping gently into the crock with the tiniest of splashes...promising great things to come. That's just how clear that is.


That is just sheer poetry. Kinda brings a tear to my eye. You've done me proud and I am glad you waited to show your profound wisdom and way with words. I am just at a loss for words of praise it warms an ole man's heart.:):):):)
trax
10-29-2008, 11:08 AM
Thanks Pop, I know it doesn't warm yer heart the way a few drops of that good ol' shine I was talking about would, but still, one does what one can....
Rick
10-29-2008, 04:14 PM
Jeepers, I think we have a winner. I mean, who am I to judge when the very inventor of Cootisms does the judging.
klkak
10-30-2008, 02:01 AM
To build a house you have to pound a few nails
To break a horse you have to get on his back
To skin a deer you have to kill it first
To sound like Coot you have live like Coot
popping a cork or three also helps.
wareagle69
10-30-2008, 07:26 AM
To build a house you have to pound a few nails
To break a horse you have to get on his back
To skin a deer you have to kill it first
To sound like Coot you have live like Coot
popping a cork or three also helps.

not to nit pic but
depends on the type of house
to gentle a horse you just have to earn its trust
unless its road kill
that i'll agree on
Ole WV Coot
10-30-2008, 10:30 AM
not to nit pic but
depends on the type of house
to gentle a horse you just have to earn its trust
unless its road kill
that i'll agree on

I detect a wee touch of jealousy in this post. I can't argue with TRAX, he learned from a master. Listen, but remember you can't hear unless you keep your trap shut. I must admit you DO have potential but you have far to go youngster. This is the end of your FREE advice. I have far to go, naps to take, young ladies to impress and a winter's supply of 'shine to make. Many attempt to gain my wisdom, only one has almost grasped the correct attitude and his wisdom ain't cheap. I would thank you for your compliment, but my position in life forbids it.:rolleyes:
klkak
10-30-2008, 04:02 PM
not to nit pic but
depends on the type of house
to gentle a horse you just have to earn its trust
unless its road kill
that i'll agree on

I didn't say it to instruct someone on horsemanship, building a house or skinning a deer. They are very old sayings.

Other examples:
You have to crawl before you can walk

To have a friend you have to be a friend

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush

If you can't hit your mark then move closer to the target
trax
10-30-2008, 04:39 PM
I didn't say it to instruct someone on horsemanship, building a house or skinning a deer. They are very old sayings.

Other examples:
You have to crawl before you can walk

To have a friend you have to be a friend

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush

If you can't hit your mark then move closer to the target

Or my Dad might say:

You have to crawl if you roll off yer barstool after those 18 tequila shooters

A bird in the hand is worth keeping some paper towel handy
wareagle69
10-30-2008, 05:36 PM
se i miss things like this sometimes, i remember a day amny moons ago these two old cowboys were leaning on the fence and talking about a horse in the corral when ol footer says to wayne that mare is wild as a march hare, didn't get it so sitting around the dinner table that night i asked the ramrod what that meant, there was alot of coffee and beans to clean up as several cowboys broke out in laughter, but thats ok now i see what ya meant, thats why i hain't a competin in this here competition
Rick
10-31-2008, 06:11 AM
you can't hear unless you keep your trap shut

Aristotle once said a man has two ears and one tongue that he might listen twice as much as he speaks.

Coot....Aristotle....Yeah, we're talking classics, here. Near genius.
trax
10-31-2008, 09:20 AM
Aristotle once said a man has two ears and one tongue that he might listen twice as much as he speaks.

Coot....Aristotle....Yeah, we're talking classics, here. Near genius.

Aristotle said that? Son of a gun, I didn't even know Aristotle spoke English, he was a pretty smart fella, alright.
Rick
10-31-2008, 07:00 PM
Almost as smart as Coot. Almost.
Runs With Beer
11-26-2008, 11:27 PM
Oooooooo Yea!
klkak
11-27-2008, 03:06 AM
A trophy? How bout something we can sink our teeth (or tooth as it may be) into.

AAaaaaaa, Angus ribeye, slow grilled over an open fire.:D
Rick
11-27-2008, 07:22 AM
Wait a minute. This gig is fixed. The only one qualified to judge is Coot and Lord knows he doesn't (trax) have any (trax) favorites (trax) on here (trax).
crashdive123
11-27-2008, 08:02 AM
Kind of like being asked to pick your sister out of the police line-up. Just ain't right.
trax
11-27-2008, 02:00 PM
Kind of like being asked to pick your sister out of the police line-up. Just ain't right.

Actually I was asked to do that once and I told the officer I couldn't tell, so I'd have to go into the lineup room and give 'em all a kiss....
Rick
11-27-2008, 03:20 PM
Now that right there is just kinky. Kissin' your own sister? Well, if she was real good lookin', okay.
trax
11-27-2008, 03:49 PM
Let me tell ya' brother, some of them girls that wind up in a police lineup can put a serious liplock on a fella, it wasn't a pretty sight:D
klkak
11-27-2008, 04:29 PM
Trax that is just plain gross....yak yak yak........puuuukkkkkeeeee:eek:
crashdive123
11-27-2008, 04:32 PM
Hold on a second there mister.......have you seen pics of sis?
trax
11-27-2008, 04:32 PM
hey! careful there! I was just callin' 'em the way I sees 'em. I'm pretty sure someplace it's written "judge not lest ye be in my Dad's crosshairs" Now that might not be in a religious document, but if Pop's is siting you in, you'll get religion in a hurry. Or get to meet the Big Guy....:D
Rick
11-27-2008, 09:51 PM
The big guy? Is that up? Down? or Klkak?
chiye tanka
11-28-2008, 02:06 AM
Don't know if I'm too late, but here's one anyway: Messed up (censored) like a soup sandwich.
klkak
11-28-2008, 02:46 AM
Who, klkak?

Well he's a mountain of a man. When people speak his name it's in hushed tones. He carries thunder in his fists and lightning in his eyes. When he walks through the ground trembles and the tree's bow to him.

Why he eats live wolverines for snacks and washes them down with an alpine lake. He has a live timber rattler for a hat band and uses a grizzly bear for a back scratcher.


What! ......... Yes dear! I'll take the trash out in a minute.

OK, now where was I..........?
trax
11-28-2008, 12:39 PM
Now that right there was a Cootism classic, well done klkak.
klkak
11-28-2008, 04:05 PM
I was suffering from and overdose of turkey, stuffing, loud grandkids, gravy, pumpkin pie, ham, chatty women, cranberry sauce, macaroni & cheese, pain in the butt begging dog, collard greens, yams, chocolate cake, heart burn, indigestion, upset stomach and diarrhea.
Rick
11-28-2008, 04:18 PM
Diarrhea? Well, that right there would make you safe from mountain lions and bears.
klkak
11-28-2008, 11:59 PM
I'm feeling much better now. It's amazing what some peace and quiet and a good "poop" can do for your general well being.:D
wareagle69
11-29-2008, 08:23 AM
I was suffering from and overdose of turkey, stuffing, loud grandkids, gravy, pumpkin pie, ham, chatty women, cranberry sauce, macaroni & cheese, pain in the butt begging dog, collard greens, yams, chocolate cake, heart burn, indigestion, upset stomach and diarrhea.

i was wondering where my dog went of t- day
chatty women dude my wife has 5 sisters so its just me and the fader in law cuz me bro in laws are all useless try livin wit dat
klkak
11-29-2008, 03:48 PM
Your brother in laws sound allot like my daughters pet rock.......er.......husband.
Ole WV Coot
11-29-2008, 05:43 PM
I'm feeling much better now. It's amazing what some peace and quiet and a good "poop" can do for your general well being.:D

That's true, but never forget what the Jolly Green Giant always says "There ain't nothin' like a good pea":D
Rick
11-29-2008, 06:04 PM
Your brother in laws sound allot like my daughters pet rock.......er.......husband.Now, now. How on earth could you acquire those beautiful grandchildren from a pet rock?:rolleyes:
klkak
11-29-2008, 06:47 PM
I've been wondering that same thing.........maybe it was the mailman?:D
trax
12-01-2008, 04:56 PM
That's true, but never forget what the Jolly Green Giant always says "There ain't nothin' like a good pea":D

those words from the fella with the little green sprout???
wareagle69
12-01-2008, 05:27 PM
now that there is cootism at its finest
Ole WV Coot
12-01-2008, 10:07 PM
those words from the fella with the little green sprout???

That sounds like you're learning. Give you a few years and practice with the big boys and you can heist your leg up on the big post with the other men. Proud of you Son, soon I can lay on the porch while you run with the big dogs:rolleyes:
klkak
12-02-2008, 04:16 AM
The big old dog on the porch is there to hold your attention while the big young dogs run up and pee on your leg.
rebel
12-02-2008, 10:35 PM
Seems like your saw done hit a knot.
trax
12-03-2008, 01:00 PM
One of my all time favorites: don't be using words like marmalade when you can't f***ing well spell jam!
crashdive123
01-03-2009, 12:50 AM
Sarge - Move to General Chat
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