Sarge47
08-13-2007, 02:24 PM
Thought you guys might get a giggle out of this.
> You Might Be A Survivalist If...
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------
--
> ----------
>
>
> - You can't put your groceries in the trunk of the car because its
> already jammed full with emergency kits, first aid supplies, and
> fully-stocked BOBs.
>
> - You have emergency rations for your pets, and view your pets as
> potential emergency rations.
>
> - You know the news three days before it hits the mass media.
>
> - You have back-up plans for your back-up plans.
>
> - You're convinced you've been exposed to so many chem-trails, you
> consider it a form of birth control.
>
> - You've ever repressed the urge to bleat "BAAAAAAAAAA" as your
> neighbor earnestly asks, "What war? Where?"
>
> - You've ever bought antibiotics for human use through a vet, or
> grains for human consumption through a feed store.
>
> - You've got more than one grain mill.
>
> - You've ever wondered how you might filter the used water from
your
> washing machine to make it fit for human consumption.
>
> - You have a kerosene lamp in every room
>
> - Your living room coffee table is actually a board with pretty
cloth
> over it to disguise your food storage underneath.
>
> - Your box springs are Rubber Maid containers filled with rice and
> beans.
>
> - You save dryer lint to make fire starters.
>
> - Your most commonly-used fuel additive is 'Stabil', instead
> of 'Gumout'.
>
> - You automatically choose the heavy duty flatbed cart upon
entering
> Sam's or Costco.
>
> - If you know the shelf life of tuna fish, but don't know how long
> you've had an open jar of mayo in the frig.
>
> - Your basement walls are insulated with crates of toilet paper,
from
> floor to ceiling, all the way around.
>
> - While other people are saving money for new furniture, or
> vacations, you are desperately saving to get solar panels put on
your
> house.
>
> - You were excited beyond all reason when they came out with
cheddar
> cheese in a can.
>
> - You've ever served MREs at a dinner party.
>
> - You can engage in a spirited debate on chemical vs. sawdust
toilets
> for hours on end.
>
> - You've ever considered digging an escape tunnel from your
basement
> to the nearest stand of trees.
>
> - You know how to use a vacuum cleaner in reverse to filter air in
> your designated bio-chem attack safe room.
>
> - You've ever considered buying an above-ground pool for water
> storage purposes.
>
> - You know what things like 'TSHTF', 'BOB' and 'TEOTWAWKI' mean.
>
> - You have different grades of BOB's.
>
> - You know the names, family histories, locations, and degree of
> readiness of over a thousand fellow doomers on the net.... but
you've
> never met your neighbors.
>
> - The best radio in the house is a wind-up.
>
> - You have better items in storage than you use everyday.
>
> - When the SHTF, you would eat better than you eat now.
>
> - Your significant other gave you a sleeping bag rated -15 degrees
> for Christmas.... and you were moved beyond words.
>
> - You've sewn a secret mini-BOBs into the bottom of your children's
> school backpacks.
>
> - Local food pantries have come to depend on donations from your
> larder when you rotate stock in the spring and fall.
>
> - You're still using up your Y2K supplies.
>
> - You have enough army surplus equipment to open a store.
>
> - The local army surplus store owner knows you by your first name.
>
> - You fill up when your gas tank is 3/4 full.
>
> - You call Rubber Maid for wholesale prices.
>
> - You have several cases of baby wipes and your kids are all grown.
>
> - Bert from 'Tremors' is your favorite movie character.
>
> - You carry a pocket survival kit, a sturdy folding knife, a
SureFire
> flashlight and a small concealed handgun on you to church every
> Sunday.
>
> - You start panicking when you are down to 50 rolls of toilet
paper.
>
> - You keep a small notebook to write down any edible plants you
> happen to see along the road.
>
> - You shop yard sales, store sales, and markdown racks for barter
> goods for ATSHTF.
>
> - You own a hand-operated clothes washer and a non-electric carpet
> sweeper.
>
> - You have at least two of every size of Dutch oven (the ones with
> the legs on the bottom), and 20 bags of charcoal, although you have
a
> gas grill.
>
> - You have rain barrels at each corner of your house, although you
> have a city water hookup, and a Big Berkey to purify the water.
>
> - You have sapphire lights, survival whistle, and a Swiss Army
knife
> on every family member's keychain.
>
> - The people in line at Costco's ask you if you run a store or
> restaraunt.
>
> - You require a shovel to rotate all your preps properly.
>
> - You no longer go the the doctor's because you can either fix it
> yourself, make it at home, or know and understand the physicians
desk
> reference better than he does, and can get the goods at the vets or
> pet store for MUCH less moolah anyway.
>
> - You know that a 'GPS' has nothing to do with the economy.
>
> - You track your preps on a computer spreadsheet for easy
reordering,
> but have hardcopies in a 3-ring binder 'just in case'.
>
> - You've thought about where the hordes can be stopped before
> entering town.
>
> - You start evaluating people according to 'skill sets'.
>
> - You view the nearest conservation area as a potential grocery
store
> if TSHTF.
>
> - You know *all* the ways out the building where you work.
>
> - You have enough pasta stockpiled in your basement to carbo-load
all
> the runners in the New York marathon.
>
> - You know that you have 36 gallons of extra drinking water in the
> hot water tank and your 2 toilet tanks.
>
> - You know which bugs are edible.
>
> - You have a handpump on your well.
>
> - You have #10 cans of 'stuff' that the labels fell off of, but you
> won't throw it out or open it because it 'may be needed later',
even
> though you haven't a clue as to the contents.
>
> - You know where the best defensive positions and lines of fire are
> on your property.
>
> - You've made a range card for your neighborhood.
>
> - Your toenail clipper is a K-BAR.
>
> - The Ranger Handbook is your favorite 'self help' book.
>
> - You've numbered the deer romping in the yard by their order of
> consumption.
>
> - You must move 50 cases of food for the plumber to get to that
leaky
> pipe, but you have your own hand truck in the basement to do it.
>
> - You own more pairs of hiking boots than casual and dress shoes
> combined.
>
> - You have more 55gal blue water drums than family members.
>
> - Your UPS system has more than 6 Deep cycle batteries.
>
> - You have a backup generator for your backup generator, which is a
> backup for your solar system.
>
> - You go to McDonalds and ask for one order of fries with 25 packs
of
> ketchup and mustard.
>
> - You have ever given SPAM as a serious gift.
>
> - You've had your eye out for a good deal for a stainless steel
> handgun to conceal in the bottom of the magazine rack next to the
> toliet.
>
> - You are single male over 40, but you still have an emergency
> childbirth kit, just in case you have to deal with that
possibility.
>
> - You have two water heaters installed in your basement, but one is
a
> dummy that's been converted to hideaway safe.
>
> - You've made bugout cargo packs for your dogs.
>
> - You have a walking stick with all sorts of gadgets hidden inside.
>
> - Your koi pond is stocked with catfish.
>
> - As a stand-in scoutmaster, you taught your son's troop to set
> mantraps and punji pits, and haven't been asked to stand in since.
>
> - You're on your fifth vaccum sealer, but you keep at least one of
> the worn out ones because you can still seal up plastic bags with
it.
>
> - You haven't bought dried fruit in years, but you buy fresh
bananas,
> apples, peaches and pears by the case and have three dehydrators.
>
> - Your UPS man hates you because of all the cases of ammo he's had
to
> lug from his truck to your front door.
>
> - You have duplicates of all your electronics gear, solar panels
and
> generator parts in your EMP-shielded fallout shelter.
>
> - You have set aside space for your live chickens in the fallout
> shelter.
>
> - When the power goes out in your neighborhood, all the neighbor's
> kids come over to your place to watch TV on generator power.
>
> - You must open the door to your pantry *very* carefully for fear
of
> a canned goods avalanche.
>
> - You have a 'Volcano', you know you can cook anything, and you
cast
> evil glances at your neighbor's annoying, yappy poodle,
> muttering "your day will come, hotdog" under your breath.
>
> - You've learned to knap flint, make twine from plant fibers for
> snares and use an atl-atl, because you fear that all of your preps
> and hard work will be confiscated by FEMA troops or destroyed by
> earthquakes, tsunamis, nuclear blasts, ravening hordes of feral
> sheeple or reptiloids from 'Planet X' ATSHTF.
> You Might Be A Survivalist If...
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------
--
> ----------
>
>
> - You can't put your groceries in the trunk of the car because its
> already jammed full with emergency kits, first aid supplies, and
> fully-stocked BOBs.
>
> - You have emergency rations for your pets, and view your pets as
> potential emergency rations.
>
> - You know the news three days before it hits the mass media.
>
> - You have back-up plans for your back-up plans.
>
> - You're convinced you've been exposed to so many chem-trails, you
> consider it a form of birth control.
>
> - You've ever repressed the urge to bleat "BAAAAAAAAAA" as your
> neighbor earnestly asks, "What war? Where?"
>
> - You've ever bought antibiotics for human use through a vet, or
> grains for human consumption through a feed store.
>
> - You've got more than one grain mill.
>
> - You've ever wondered how you might filter the used water from
your
> washing machine to make it fit for human consumption.
>
> - You have a kerosene lamp in every room
>
> - Your living room coffee table is actually a board with pretty
cloth
> over it to disguise your food storage underneath.
>
> - Your box springs are Rubber Maid containers filled with rice and
> beans.
>
> - You save dryer lint to make fire starters.
>
> - Your most commonly-used fuel additive is 'Stabil', instead
> of 'Gumout'.
>
> - You automatically choose the heavy duty flatbed cart upon
entering
> Sam's or Costco.
>
> - If you know the shelf life of tuna fish, but don't know how long
> you've had an open jar of mayo in the frig.
>
> - Your basement walls are insulated with crates of toilet paper,
from
> floor to ceiling, all the way around.
>
> - While other people are saving money for new furniture, or
> vacations, you are desperately saving to get solar panels put on
your
> house.
>
> - You were excited beyond all reason when they came out with
cheddar
> cheese in a can.
>
> - You've ever served MREs at a dinner party.
>
> - You can engage in a spirited debate on chemical vs. sawdust
toilets
> for hours on end.
>
> - You've ever considered digging an escape tunnel from your
basement
> to the nearest stand of trees.
>
> - You know how to use a vacuum cleaner in reverse to filter air in
> your designated bio-chem attack safe room.
>
> - You've ever considered buying an above-ground pool for water
> storage purposes.
>
> - You know what things like 'TSHTF', 'BOB' and 'TEOTWAWKI' mean.
>
> - You have different grades of BOB's.
>
> - You know the names, family histories, locations, and degree of
> readiness of over a thousand fellow doomers on the net.... but
you've
> never met your neighbors.
>
> - The best radio in the house is a wind-up.
>
> - You have better items in storage than you use everyday.
>
> - When the SHTF, you would eat better than you eat now.
>
> - Your significant other gave you a sleeping bag rated -15 degrees
> for Christmas.... and you were moved beyond words.
>
> - You've sewn a secret mini-BOBs into the bottom of your children's
> school backpacks.
>
> - Local food pantries have come to depend on donations from your
> larder when you rotate stock in the spring and fall.
>
> - You're still using up your Y2K supplies.
>
> - You have enough army surplus equipment to open a store.
>
> - The local army surplus store owner knows you by your first name.
>
> - You fill up when your gas tank is 3/4 full.
>
> - You call Rubber Maid for wholesale prices.
>
> - You have several cases of baby wipes and your kids are all grown.
>
> - Bert from 'Tremors' is your favorite movie character.
>
> - You carry a pocket survival kit, a sturdy folding knife, a
SureFire
> flashlight and a small concealed handgun on you to church every
> Sunday.
>
> - You start panicking when you are down to 50 rolls of toilet
paper.
>
> - You keep a small notebook to write down any edible plants you
> happen to see along the road.
>
> - You shop yard sales, store sales, and markdown racks for barter
> goods for ATSHTF.
>
> - You own a hand-operated clothes washer and a non-electric carpet
> sweeper.
>
> - You have at least two of every size of Dutch oven (the ones with
> the legs on the bottom), and 20 bags of charcoal, although you have
a
> gas grill.
>
> - You have rain barrels at each corner of your house, although you
> have a city water hookup, and a Big Berkey to purify the water.
>
> - You have sapphire lights, survival whistle, and a Swiss Army
knife
> on every family member's keychain.
>
> - The people in line at Costco's ask you if you run a store or
> restaraunt.
>
> - You require a shovel to rotate all your preps properly.
>
> - You no longer go the the doctor's because you can either fix it
> yourself, make it at home, or know and understand the physicians
desk
> reference better than he does, and can get the goods at the vets or
> pet store for MUCH less moolah anyway.
>
> - You know that a 'GPS' has nothing to do with the economy.
>
> - You track your preps on a computer spreadsheet for easy
reordering,
> but have hardcopies in a 3-ring binder 'just in case'.
>
> - You've thought about where the hordes can be stopped before
> entering town.
>
> - You start evaluating people according to 'skill sets'.
>
> - You view the nearest conservation area as a potential grocery
store
> if TSHTF.
>
> - You know *all* the ways out the building where you work.
>
> - You have enough pasta stockpiled in your basement to carbo-load
all
> the runners in the New York marathon.
>
> - You know that you have 36 gallons of extra drinking water in the
> hot water tank and your 2 toilet tanks.
>
> - You know which bugs are edible.
>
> - You have a handpump on your well.
>
> - You have #10 cans of 'stuff' that the labels fell off of, but you
> won't throw it out or open it because it 'may be needed later',
even
> though you haven't a clue as to the contents.
>
> - You know where the best defensive positions and lines of fire are
> on your property.
>
> - You've made a range card for your neighborhood.
>
> - Your toenail clipper is a K-BAR.
>
> - The Ranger Handbook is your favorite 'self help' book.
>
> - You've numbered the deer romping in the yard by their order of
> consumption.
>
> - You must move 50 cases of food for the plumber to get to that
leaky
> pipe, but you have your own hand truck in the basement to do it.
>
> - You own more pairs of hiking boots than casual and dress shoes
> combined.
>
> - You have more 55gal blue water drums than family members.
>
> - Your UPS system has more than 6 Deep cycle batteries.
>
> - You have a backup generator for your backup generator, which is a
> backup for your solar system.
>
> - You go to McDonalds and ask for one order of fries with 25 packs
of
> ketchup and mustard.
>
> - You have ever given SPAM as a serious gift.
>
> - You've had your eye out for a good deal for a stainless steel
> handgun to conceal in the bottom of the magazine rack next to the
> toliet.
>
> - You are single male over 40, but you still have an emergency
> childbirth kit, just in case you have to deal with that
possibility.
>
> - You have two water heaters installed in your basement, but one is
a
> dummy that's been converted to hideaway safe.
>
> - You've made bugout cargo packs for your dogs.
>
> - You have a walking stick with all sorts of gadgets hidden inside.
>
> - Your koi pond is stocked with catfish.
>
> - As a stand-in scoutmaster, you taught your son's troop to set
> mantraps and punji pits, and haven't been asked to stand in since.
>
> - You're on your fifth vaccum sealer, but you keep at least one of
> the worn out ones because you can still seal up plastic bags with
it.
>
> - You haven't bought dried fruit in years, but you buy fresh
bananas,
> apples, peaches and pears by the case and have three dehydrators.
>
> - Your UPS man hates you because of all the cases of ammo he's had
to
> lug from his truck to your front door.
>
> - You have duplicates of all your electronics gear, solar panels
and
> generator parts in your EMP-shielded fallout shelter.
>
> - You have set aside space for your live chickens in the fallout
> shelter.
>
> - When the power goes out in your neighborhood, all the neighbor's
> kids come over to your place to watch TV on generator power.
>
> - You must open the door to your pantry *very* carefully for fear
of
> a canned goods avalanche.
>
> - You have a 'Volcano', you know you can cook anything, and you
cast
> evil glances at your neighbor's annoying, yappy poodle,
> muttering "your day will come, hotdog" under your breath.
>
> - You've learned to knap flint, make twine from plant fibers for
> snares and use an atl-atl, because you fear that all of your preps
> and hard work will be confiscated by FEMA troops or destroyed by
> earthquakes, tsunamis, nuclear blasts, ravening hordes of feral
> sheeple or reptiloids from 'Planet X' ATSHTF.