The Wimpy Kid' Guide To Outdoor Survival-Boys Life Magizine.

[hunter63]

Quote Intro
Greg Heffley might be the “Wimpy Kid” of book and big-screen fame, but he’s no wimp when it comes to camping. (Or is he?) Greg politely declined our offer of a Boy Scout Handbook and Fieldbook, preferring instead to strike out on his own. Against our better judgment, Greg convinced us to print his take on the great outdoors.



http://boyslife.org/features/153556/the-wimpy-kids-guide-to-outdoor-survival/

[crashdive123]

Too funny.....and true. I can think of a few of our past infamous members that fit that story very nicely. You could probably change the writing a book to making a youtube video and add a few more.

[Antonyraison]

Out door survival?
More like camping.
But hilarious.

[Rick]

We've even had a couple of those game programmers on here. Too funny.

[hunter63]

Many seem want to start a survival school.....But not sure how do you spell it.......

Actually reminds me of the neighborhood boys backyard camping.....where the goal was to make it all night with out going in a sleeping on the porch......LOL

[kyratshooter]

I do not remember how many times I have awakened in the backyard tent alone on summer mornings after everyone else went inside sometime during the night.

And in reverse, there have been times my Mom sent me out to the tent first thing in the morning to see if one of my brothers was sleeping outside.

That was "back in the day" before we had AC in the house and a Tennessee summer night might not drop below 85 degrees and the house was a furnace all night. At least outside you might accidentally get a breeze.

We also had a big stone BBQ pit so fires and outdoor cooking were approved for our 7-12 age group early on.

[hunter63]

I do not remember how many times I have awakened in the backyard tent alone on summer mornings after everyone else went inside sometime during the night.

And in reverse, there have been times my Mom sent me out to the tent first thing in the morning to see if one of my brothers was sleeping outside.

That was "back in the day" before we had AC in the house and a Tennessee summer night might not drop below 85 degrees and the house was a furnace all night. At least outside you might accidentally get a breeze.

We also had a big stone BBQ pit so fires and outdoor cooking were approved for our 7-12 age group early on.

Ditto.....
That about when I discovered morning dew,(ground cloth) and Red Ryder tent are not water proof....(dads painter's tarp)

[kyratshooter]

Ditto.....
That about when I discovered morning dew,(ground cloth) and Red Ryder tent are not water proof....(dads painter's tarp)

Every year we would get $$ for good grades on the report card. Back then it was not much, 25 cents for an A, 10 Cents for a B, 5 cents for a C. If you made a D you were a dead kid and no CPR was going to bring you back. Not being well motivated I normally just counted by fives down the row.

About 4th grade I conned my brothers into pooling our funds and buying a tent at the army surplus store. I think 2 shelter halves w/poles, rope and stakes was $5, a bargain even in 1959. I remember my Dad making up the difference between our meager funds and the actual price because we were putting aside the normal sibling revelry for this effort, and it was the start of summer vacation and this might keep us out of the house more. I do not know how that would have worked since we exited the premises as soon as we emptied the corn flakes bowl and did not return until the PB&J was served some time in the afternoon.

That tent was not taken down until we moved in 1962. At that point it was falling apart from dry rot and my Dad, at the insistence of my Mom, sprang another $5 for the purchase of a new tent at parental expense so we would stay out of the house. We lived in that tent for most of every summer. There were weeks when we did not sleep inside and only came in to eat and take the mandated shower when the stink got so bad it could no longer be tolerated.

There was once a book about how someone learned everything they ever needed to know in kindergarten.

I feel much the same about that old tent in the back yard. 90% of what I ever learned about camping I read in the Boy Scout Handbook and tried out in that old ragged tent in the back yard and on a fire built in that BBQ pit.

[Rick]

I would venture a guess that no items were ever as cost effective as WWII surplus tents, haversacks, and personal equipment. Not only did that gear go through a world war and several police actions but it also taught about a million kids how to grow up. I'd say the taxpayers got their money's worth on all that gear and a bit more.

[hunter63]

Yup....and mummy bags smelled like wet chicken feathers and sweat....when wet....unless you were a rich kid and had the over bag.
Can't remember if I ever heard the term "Bivy" till a few years ago.

[Rick]

I have to agree. Those things were pretty stinky. I don't know where that smell comes from but it rubs off and goes with you just handling it.

[kyratshooter]

They smell like that when new!

I got a bunch of new un-issued bags still sealed in plastic and they smelled like a wet dog when taken from the sealed plastic bags.

I still keep one in the Jeep and it still smells like a wet dog 25 years latter

[crashdive123]

My childhood tent was a heavy canvas (dark green) Army surplus pup tent with two wooden poles that doubled as our jungle spears when not holding up the tent because of the metal tips. The smell of that tent cannot be forgotten. It was softened by the smell of grass. Ahhhh the memories.

[Rick]

There have probably been more baked beans eaten and Kook-Aid drank inside those pup tents, more lies...er...stories told and plans made. One of the guys had an A frame. The family was Catholic and there were something like a million kids in the family, which is why they had an A frame. We could cram the whole neighborhood in that thing.

[Alan R McDaniel Jr]

I pilfered pop bottles from the neighborhood building sites and got the $14 to purchase, from Sears AND Roebuck, a canvas two man pup tent (I still have it incidentally). Men must have been much smaller back in the day. The last time I put it up for my grandson I climbed in to put up the back pole and wasn't sure I could get out. It was quite a step up from my dad's US Army issued poncho. It had a floor. It seemed a lot bigger when I was a kid. But it served well. I was pretty meticulous about keeping it in good shape (Coke bottles were 2 cents and big Nehi bottles were 3 cents) because is represented a lot of work. Probably about at least 30 trips to the store that was a mile away on my Western Flyer with that bushel sized basket on the front.

In college, I graduated to a little roomier accommodations because the girls I ran with expected a little more in the way of a tent than the two man pup tent. I always told young men that if they wanted to find a good wife, find a girl that liked to go camping and would actually go with you a second time. That one was a keeper. I know I'm right.

As my sons grew (that's comes from camping with girls) I got a large 10 man Coleman that could be assembled in 5 or 6 hours. But once you got it up it would withstand a hurricane.

Now I use a small Coleman dome tent that I found on sale. It has a vent in the side to allow the insertion of electric extension cords to run various survival equipment like fans and air mattress pumps and CPAP machines…

But the old days were the best. Vienna sausages on a sharp stick over a fire that never had enough wood to get through the night without stumbling around looking for more is about the best tasting stuff there is.

On a side note, I don't know what the Navy made their knives out of but I have a mess kit knife that I have scraped across the bottom of my mess kit ten thousand times and that sucked will cut a steak as good as any steak knife in our kitchen. I've never sharpened it.

Alan

[hunter63]

.................
In college, I graduated to a little roomier accommodations because the girls I ran with expected a little more in the way of a tent than the two man pup tent. I always told young men that if they wanted to find a good wife, find a girl that liked to go camping and would actually go with you a second time. That one was a keeper. I know I'm right.



Alan

Good advice....worked for me...at least till now....LOL
She was a city girl, up north for the summer....I was a local small "townie"
Over 50 year ago.
Yup.... good advice.

[Alan R McDaniel Jr]

I would venture a guess that no items were ever as cost effective as WWII surplus tents, haversacks, and personal equipment. Not only did that gear go through a world war and several police actions but it also taught about a million kids how to grow up. I'd say the taxpayers got their money's worth on all that gear and a bit more.

I was in the 4th grade before I knew there was a backpack you could buy at the store. Those surplus backpacks were almost impossible to tear up, and the straps and buckles would last forever. I still use my 1 qt canteen cover. The aluminum original has been replaced by plastic and the cup is stainless. But the cover is going strong. I don't know if it counts if you pour bottled water into the canteen to drink it or if you have to skim the top of the cattle trough or lake edge to make it legal. I'm sticking with the bottled water though even if it means going outlaw.

Alan

[hunter63]

How about this?.....
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y139/hunter63/DSCF1049.jpg (http://s4.photobucket.com/user/hunter63/media/DSCF1049.jpg.html)

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y139/hunter63/DSCF1051.jpg (http://s4.photobucket.com/user/hunter63/media/DSCF1051.jpg.html)

LOL

[Alan R McDaniel Jr]

How about this?.....
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y139/hunter63/DSCF1049.jpg (http://s4.photobucket.com/user/hunter63/media/DSCF1049.jpg.html)

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y139/hunter63/DSCF1051.jpg (http://s4.photobucket.com/user/hunter63/media/DSCF1051.jpg.html)

LOL

That'll work just fine!

Alan

[Rick]

That's brilliant. I see you have some Frenchies there. I snapped up some of those a few years back when Cheaper than Dirt had them. They are actually pretty good canteens.

[hunter63]

That's brilliant. I see you have some Frenchies there. I snapped up some of those a few years back when Cheaper than Dirt had them. They are actually pretty good canteens.

Yup...that where these came from...gave a couple away....but liked the larger size...double set of snaps....
I think they were about $10 buck for three...and "I really needed them"...LOL

[Rick]

I know. They are stored with the 25 other canteens and covers that I needed.

[crashdive123]

Yep......got a bunch. I know I must have really needed them..........now if I could only remember why that was.

[hunter63]

The were a good deal?....
So good you can't resist......Never know when you need to have another bag to outfit...

[Rick]

Oh, yeah. I can resist. I don't have a problem. I can quite any time I want. Oh, hang on. I just got an email from Sportsman's Guide. Big Ruger sale. Be right back!

[hunter63]

Bored old guys with a computer and a credit card....living in the past......
Yup.....add a couple of beers..====..Basement/garage/shed/ vehicles full of really cool stuff!

[Alan R McDaniel Jr]

So, I'm guessing none of y'all want to buy any more canteens or covers….?



Okay, I gotta get another angle.

Alan

[Alan R McDaniel Jr]

The only problem I have with buying stuff on the internet is that #1 wife is retired too, and there's a better than even odds chance that the twenty minutes that it takes me to drive to the PO and back is when FedEx and UPS are going to show up with the Midway, Brownell's and Cabelas boxes. If I just had an old fashioned Army/Navy surplus store in town it would be a lot easier on her if I could sneak that stuff in the store room. You'd think after 41 years she'd be used to it by now. But Noooooooo, it's the same old thing, "Why do you need another case of ammunition?"

Alan

[kyratshooter]

Bored old guys with a computer and a credit card....living in the past......
Yup.....add a couple of beers..====..Basement/garage/shed/ vehicles full of really cool stuff!

It's like that scene from Fried Green Tomatoes, we're older and have better insurance, gold cards and overdraft protection.

If ten year old me could see half the stuff I own now he would crap his pants!

[Rick]

Ain't that the truth. I would either think:

1. How could you steal that much stuff. OR
2. How could some one lose that much stuff.

https://mozo.com.au/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Boy-Amazed-Shocked.jpg

[hunter63]

It's like that scene from Fried Green Tomatoes, we're older and have better insurance, gold cards and overdraft protection.

If ten year old me could see half the stuff I own now he would crap his pants!

...And I still can't seem to get rid of that little amount of stuff....I still have.....

[Alan R McDaniel Jr]

I have three sons. For a lot of years I bought 2, then 3, then 4 of every piece of hunting, fishing, camping equipment and apparel that I got. It's a hard habit to break and a difficult habit to have especially since I'm storing most of their stuff at my place. It's kinda ridiculous since we all have less time to do all those things any more. They all have full time jobs and families and I am retired. I always thought that retirement was going to be different. That I would while away my days alternating between fishing and the ranch, hunting this or that during the season and cooking wildly delectable dishes from the bounty of nature and the labor of my garden.

Instead, I burn up the highways and have developed an uncanny sense as to which fried chicken establishments have the best chicken tenders.

I really need to break this cycle of self abuse.

Alan

[Alan R McDaniel Jr]

I broke 100 posts. Do I get a badge or something?

Alan

[hunter63]

It's time to pin a rose on your nose and give yourself a dog biscuit......

Congratulations.......most people would have given up and moved on.
You hang in there real well.

[hunter63]

I have three sons. For a lot of years I bought 2, then 3, then 4 of every piece of hunting, fishing, camping equipment and apparel that I got. It's a hard habit to break and a difficult habit to have especially since I'm storing most of their stuff at my place. It's kinda ridiculous since we all have less time to do all those things any more. They all have full time jobs and families and I am retired. I always thought that retirement was going to be different. That I would while away my days alternating between fishing and the ranch, hunting this or that during the season and cooking wildly delectable dishes from the bounty of nature and the labor of my garden.

Instead, I burn up the highways and have developed an uncanny sense as to which fried chicken establishments have the best chicken tenders.

I really need to break this cycle of self abuse.

Alan

I hear ya.....Life is nit fair...back when you used only what you had... or scrounged, went out a did stuff......AND worked.

So many time I hear people say, "When I retire I'm gonna....fill in blank)"

Nope... you won't...
You may take a a couple of half hearted tries....the go back to what you always did, except not really worrying about work...or finding "something to keep yourself busy"

If you want to do something....you will find a way no matter what.

Lunch out with DW, is a viable option as she is retired as well.....and doesn't care to worry about things much either.
Naps are good.

[Alan R McDaniel Jr]

It's time to pin a rose on your nose and give yourself a dog biscuit......

Congratulations.......most people would have given up and moved on.
You hang in there real well.

I don't often LOL, but…. LOL.

The dog is looking at me funny though. He's thinking, "Hell, I don't even eat those. I just carry them out back and bury them."

Alan