how do you stay positive?

[Auban]

i find that survival is more about mindset than it is about knowledge or skill. i have seen some people who certainly had the skill and knowledge, but died anyway. sometimes, they are dealt a really lousy hand. but usually, they freak out and dont think straight.

of course, survival is a different game when there are people trying to kill you... but, the fact remains, if you loose your cool, your training, experience, etc, goes out the window.


so how do you stay positive? how do you keep your cool? i have my own methods, but i would like to hear yours before i tell you mine. my methods are quite odd, and could probably be attributed to my personality. but it seems to work for me, so ill keep on it.


how do you keep your cool when the world is falling apart around you?

[1stimestar]

No one can say how they would respond to an emergency situation unless they have been in one. Then, it all depends. Training and conditioning do play a part in being able to think things through and stay as safe as possible. But your general non situation leaves the subject too open. Family member having a heart attack and you forget even your own address while on the phone to 911 is different then realizing you missed a turn off of the trail and are now probably lost.

[Auban]

i dont think its that much different. calming yourself down is a skill and can be applied anywhere.

[Rick]

I'll let the combat vets respond to the skill part.

[hunter63]

I seem to switch to "goal to be accomplished" mode......at least for the duration of what ever is happening.

[Auban]

I seem to switch to "goal to be accomplished" mode......at least for the duration of what ever is happening.

that sounds familiar. my wife calls it "robot mode". its a mindset that i go into whenever there is conflict or something to be solved. the only thing on my mind is the task.

[hunter63]

that sounds familiar. my wife calls it "robot mode". its a mindset that i go into whenever there is conflict or something to be solved. the only thing on my mind is the task.

Yeah, Robot mode is a good description.......I hear ya.

[Auban]

im actually more interested in long drawn out stuff. learning to focus and not get overwhelmed in the moment is very important, but that can be overcome to a degree through training. the hard part is staying motivated after months and months of nastiness. staying positive.

in iraq, thats where i saw people make the most mistakes. they get worn out. then they stop taking care of themselves, dont sleep or eat right, get depressed, etc. i dealt with it in my own team by keeping an essential task list, knocking that out as fast as possible, and then giving my guys as much down time as possible. for myself, i started to spend most of my down time dreaming up projects i wanted to take care of. then i found myself in the same boat as everyone else, spending most of my time trying to not think about where i was.

eventually, i learned to just smile, all the freaking time, whether i felt like it or not. it was surprising how big of a difference that made.

the short term stuff and the long term stuff tie in together. take care of yourself psychologically, mentally and physically, and its much easier to stay on top of things when SHTF. if you dont, its much harder to think straight when you really need to.

so nowadays, the more uncomfortable i am, the more i force myself to smile. and when i look back on those times, it actually feels like a positive memory when it really shouldnt.

[hunter63]

I gonna defer to those that have had to deal with that level.....I personally haven't had to.....Thank God

[MrFixIt]

My unit took our training very seriously. We knew we were going to get into situations where that training was going to come into play.
Confidence in your skills plays a large part (at least it did for me).
Back up plans trained for and in place.
Mental and physical fatigue, coupled with the wrong attitude, were situations that had to be dealt with in a positive way.
I had a mantra that I kept in my head, "I will not die *here* at the hands of *these* people".
I was in a true survival situation alone once, that mantra kept me motivated to make it back safely.

[Auban]

I love hearing how people do it. I keep hearing about this concept of "false motivation".

But I don't think there is such a thing. As in, there is nothing false about it if it gets the job done. I guess a better word for "staying positive" would be resilience. The army tries to teach it, but i think the training kinda misses the mark. "Hunt the good stuff" doesn't really explain it well. That or resilience is a hard thing to teach.

Probably a little of both.

[MrFixIt]

I love hearing how people do it. I keep hearing about this concept of "false motivation".

But I don't think there is such a thing. As in, there is nothing false about it if it gets the job done. I guess a better word for "staying positive" would be resilience. The army tries to teach it, but i think the training kinda misses the mark. "Hunt the good stuff" doesn't really explain it well. That or resilience is a hard thing to teach.

Probably a little of both.

Agreed Auban. If the spark isn't there, no amount of training can "blow it into flame".
And thank you for your service.

[kyratshooter]

In spite of the trend exhibited there is a very great difference between a combat scenario where massive amounts of training is provided and SOP actions are in place and having an emergency dropped on you out of the blue.

Doing action/reaction drills for weeks at a time under live fire and doing first aid/medevac drills with trainees using molagues that are so realistic they make you puke is very different that confronting a compound/complex fracture of the femur right after you heard your buddy's leg snap, or an open intestinal wound on the side of a busy highway at a crash site, or confronting gunfire for the first time.

Keeping the depression out of your unit used to be known as "morale", and each officer had his responsibilities in that area and training to go with them. There was also a unit morale officer. I can not imagine when the US armed forces would have stopped worrying bout that aspect of troop management???

"Down time" was not considered the answer. Keeping the troops active was paramount, and active in positive activities, continued training and equipment maintenance interspaced by organized entertainment and sports programs. Idle troops were troops doing too much talking and too much thinking about home. Full combat units seldom had a problem with morale. It was the support units and garrison troops that had issues.

The combat units were operating under the "Patton morale management system", if you had the enemy worrying about dying for his country you spent less time worrying about dying for your country.

Now do keep in mind that when I was in a letter took 3 weeks to get home and 3 weeks to get a reply. There was no phone connection and you generally got one R&R sometime during your tour, and it never took you home.

My sons, during their tours in Iraq, both had access to computer centers with e-mail almost daily. When in FOP they had access to satellite phones and called home occasionally. At the 4 month mark they got R&R that brought them to the local airport for a 10 day visit home. And they were both in marine combat line units, patrolling daily, 6 on and 6 off.

I can not even imagine what Crash confronted while enclosed in a submarine hull for months at a time! He should be an expert on this subject after as a career NCO on tactical craft.

I find that as a homesteader my only "down time" seems to be the dead of winter. During any other season I have plenty of positives to keep me occupied. January and February are held at bay by reading extensively, inside projects, lots of DVD movies and this infernal computer and its ability to connect me to just about every camper and homesteader in the world.

Right now I should be at the local range testing some load developments, checking out the new chronograph, and recording the results. I have seeds to plant and seed beds to prepare as soon as the ground dries a little. Then planting time will arrive. After that is done the trees need trimming and the grass will be growing an inch a day and require constant care.

One of the things I have noted in life is that retired people sometimes sit down and die. The Grim Reaper is out there and if you stay still too long he will catch up with you!

Add to that the realization that as a single widower, and living alone, I am going to be prone to depression, I keep myself occupied with scheduled social events, meetings and volunteer activities. Plus that, I have friends. A phone call for a coffee run to Micky-Dees goes a long way toward keeping up morale, and plotting against the current administration keeps me warm inside. If I sit down and start feeling sorry for myself I will not last a month!

And if all else fails, I will go to the doctor and get my share of the depression meds that 10% of the US population depends on to stave off the boogy-man.

Wow!! All this and I had decided to not comment on this topic!

Got to go now. I have a new buckshot loading to pattern.

[Rick]

A most excellent post. One of the things I've done is to put together a "to do" list for each family member. I don't ever expect to invoke it but if needed it's an ongoing assigned task for just the very reason KY outlined above. "Keep 'em busy" so there is less time to worry about what just happened. Thanks, KY. You confirmed my thoughts on the subject. Again, excellent post. Gave a little rep for it.

[Auban]

It took me a while to figure out that bit about idle hands. I was promoted two days after I got to Iraq and had a bunch of dumb ideas...

You live you learn. We didn't have a lot of free time, usually a few hours every couple of weeks. It was towards the end where we had to stay busy. Of course, I could have been fostering that mindset, go go go with a gritty smile, from the get go. Later on, I had to learn to self motivate. Without that, there was no motivating anyone else. It's sad that I was airborne infantry and I didn't really understand self motivation until AFTER I was downrange for several months... and it took moving to another unit to see the difference it makes on a unit.
Thanks for your response kyratshooter.

So, the general response I'm seeing is... STAY BUSY! Robot mode(goal focused), task lists, etc.

[wilderness medic]

So, the general response I'm seeing is... STAY BUSY! Robot mode(goal focused), task lists, etc.

That does seem to help a lot, and I try to stay busy constantly. But the more I do, the worse sitting still is! And it is impossible to stay busy 24/7!

[Auban]

That does seem to help a lot, and I try to stay busy constantly. But the more I do, the worse sitting still is! And it is impossible to stay busy 24/7!

I think that hits on why smiling even when I don't feel like it helps me out so much. Like a little mental hocus pocus us to trick myself into feeling like I just spent the day doing something I enjoy. And a lot of times, I actually feel like I enjoy it.

But it does lead to me doing stuff constantly. Lately, my go to thing for when I am idle is studying arabic. Whenever I am waiting on something.

[kyratshooter]

If sitting still does not feel good...

you are not working hard enough while you are moving!

[TXyakr]

i find that survival is more about mindset than it is about knowledge or skill. i have seen some people who certainly had the skill and knowledge, but died anyway. sometimes, they are dealt a really lousy hand. but usually, they freak out and dont think straight.

of course, survival is a different game when there are people trying to kill you... but, the fact remains, if you loose your cool, your training, experience, etc, goes out the window.


so how do you stay positive? how do you keep your cool? i have my own methods, but i would like to hear yours before i tell you mine. my methods are quite odd, and could probably be attributed to my personality. but it seems to work for me, so ill keep on it.


how do you keep your cool when the world is falling apart around you?

I agree with you psychology is #1 in survival situations: wilderness, war zone, natural disaster and virtually all others. Reports from those in Ukraine often site need for SIMPLE hobbies like cooking, crafts such as tying knots, woodwork, sewing, writing/reading, physical exercise, and regular sleep hours. Some people describe the importance of online videos and internet connection in places like Ukraine, Syria and Libya but I find that I do better without these even for long periods of time, days or weeks. That is probably not normal. Perhaps I spent far to much of my younger life in remote parts of the wilderness without electronics or I equate them to work.

[Auban]

If sitting still does not feel good...

you are not working hard enough while you are moving!

lol, my problem is that i have learned to smile when it hurts, so now im restless when it doesnt. practicing the "smile when it sucks" has become a sort of hobby for me. embrace the suck, etc.

[Auban]

I agree with you psychology is #1 in survival situations: wilderness, war zone, natural disaster and virtually all others. Reports from those in Ukraine often site need for SIMPLE hobbies like cooking, crafts such as tying knots, woodwork, sewing, writing/reading, physical exercise, and regular sleep hours. Some people describe the importance of online videos and internet connection in places like Ukraine, Syria and Libya but I find that I do better without these even for long periods of time, days or weeks. That is probably not normal. Perhaps I spent far to much of my younger life in remote parts of the wilderness without electronics or I equate them to work.

when i am alone, i put a lot of mental effort into dreaming up ways to make my situation better or making things easier. i spend a lot of time learning new stuff, stuff i can actually use. i have little interest in entertainment because i enjoy learning how to do stuff. normally, that doesnt directly help me in tough situations, but it helped me while i was deployed once...

something simple... the hand mike on my radio was broken after we dodged an IED and i stomped on the damn thing when i reached back to stop my gunner from blasting the random nothing around us(i have no idea what he was shooting at. it was an EFP from the OTHER side of a T wall. we couldnt see jack shat). anyway, my driver always had earbuds on him, so i raped its wires and grabbed a neo magnet i used to keep a few essentials hung up in the vehicle. neo magnets can be had cheap at walmart, and are awesome for keeping stuff hung up that you want to be able to yank down quickly. well, i had a little speaker spun up pretty quick. it didnt work great but it worked well enough when i shoved it and the coil as far into my ear as i could. so, at least once in my life, my hobbies actually helped me out. besides, of course, just keeping me sane.

one of my hobbies is making incendiaries. there are some strange ones out there... like mixing animal blood serum with gasoline to produce thickened fuel. i havent had a need for that yet, but i still experiment with incendiaries a lot. i like seeing how it works, and thinking about when i would actually need it. often i come up with nothing useful, but sometimes i come up with good stuff.

like paraffin wax and cotton balls. soak them, burn them, and then treat them the same way you would char cloth. then soak them again. it lights INCREDIBLY easily after its been burned and resoaked in paraffin.


i love learning new things like that.

[natertot]

I have been taught to constantly evaluate the situation. Even if it is not an emergency. Every ten to fifteen minutes, I look at myself and those around me and look for what needs improvement and what can be done to make it happen. Constantly checking in a non-emergency will usually prevent an emergency, and in an emergency will lessen the issues that arise. Addressing needs before they are needs seems to be my philosophy.

As far as combat goes, no experience. I got to serve in a nice climate controlled ship with three hot meals a day, a shower, and a bed complete with a mattress and blankets. Now that is surviving!

[Auban]

As far as combat goes, no experience. I got to serve in a nice climate controlled ship with three hot meals a day, a shower, and a bed complete with a mattress and blankets. Now that is surviving!

lol, my wife loves to tease me about how I joined the wrong branch. She was a nuclear machinist mate.

[richbat]

For myself the key to staying positive is 3 parts:Don't panic,Be aware of your surroundings and be Productive.