In 5 years I will be dropped in the middle of an island and told to survive

[TheUnknownPoet]

Deleting all my posts. Goodbye.

[Sarge47]

The title is obviously a lie, that won't actually happen.

However, let's say that, hypothetically, someone came to me and told me that I had 5 years to prepare, and that at the end of the 5 years, I would be kidnapped, put on a boat, and shipped to an uninhabited island in the middle of the pacific ocean. The entire island is in the equator reason, and is approximately 50 Km^2 in area. Most of it is just many mountains covered by thick, dense jungle.

The goal is to survive on this island until I die. There is no escaping, ever. You are given a small ultralight helicopter to use, But that does not have enough range to take you off the island, as it is in the middle of the ocean. It can only take you around places on the island, provided you can actually land it (Seeing as how everything is basically mountains and jungle). You also get a speedboat, and you may bring anything along with you that you want, so long as the value falls under 100,000$ USD. (Sattelite phones cannot be used to call for help. There is no getting off)

How would I go about getting prepared for such an event? Are there survival courses i could take, what should I learn? What should I read?

Basically, how would I get ready for this, if it were to, hypothetically happen?

Is it possible to design some sort of a modular self sustained house with a hydroponic garden or something in order to become self sufficient on said island?
There are creatures on this island found nowehre else in the world, which means i'd have to take medical school in order to even think about living very long (As snakes and spiders and such would sorta have nasty poisons that can kill you and you no doubt would be bit by one at one point in your life)

So, is this possible?

How would one go about doing this?
(Or perhaps point me in the right direction as to where i can find out how to learn)

Who dreams up this crap? And where's your intro dude? :nono:

[gryffynklm]

Anything is possible. There is a starting point for everything and based on the vast information that you have provided. I have determined that you are vastly under qualified for your task. On the other hand You will definitely reach your goal "The goal is to survive on this island until I die."

[ElevenBravo]

"The goal is to survive on this island until I die."

Which could be 2 days if your lucky, or 30 or more days if unlucky.

Andrew

[Sarge47]

You're really Tom Hanks, aren't you? :sneaky2: :innocent: :confused1:

[TheUnknownPoet]

Deleted.




This forum is not worth my time.

[TheUnknownPoet]

Deleted.




This forum is not worth my time.

[kyratshooter]

What a quaint slant on ROTTW!

Good luck with that!

[Sarge47]

I dream up this crap.
This is my intro. If it doesn't scream "raving lunatic", I don't know what will.

Just our weekly troll! :closedeyes:

[TheUnknownPoet]

Deleted.




This forum is not worth my time.

[hunter63]

Good luck with that...in 5 years there will be video game out, then you don't have to leave your house.

[TheUnknownPoet]

Deleted.




This forum is not worth my time.

[Sarge47]

As stated in the OP, i'm not actually doing this. I'm just wondering where one would have to go to learn things required to survive in such a situation.
But i'm quite comfortable in front of my computer and fireplace, and grocery store food and not having to farm and running water, and heat, and just being alive in general, so I don't plan on running away to anywhere.

I just had a dream where i did, and i was wondering what it would take to actually do this.

An IQ smaller than your shoe size....? :closedeyes:

[TheUnknownPoet]

Deleted.




This forum is not worth my time.

[crashdive123]

OK - Let's say you are serious.

Tell us about yourself so that more serious responses to your question will follow. http://www.wilderness-survival.net/forums/showthread.php?7813-Posting-Your-Introduction

[BENESSE]

Join the army. That would be a great start.

[TheUnknownPoet]

Deleted.




This forum is not worth my time.

[TheUnknownPoet]

Deleted.




This forum is not worth my time.

[crashdive123]

An Introduction is not mandatory nor is it a requirement for membership

But, I will. Although I don't see how it will help me.

You're right, but you are looking for an answer that requires those responding to know what level of knowledge and experience you have. Don't put it in an intro - I honestly don't care - at least give those that you are seeking information from help so they can help you.

[Sarge47]

How so?

Read your op...you got 5 years warning and your still sitting in front of your fireplace waiting? DURRRR!!! :1eye:



It's funny because everybody actually really thinks i'm trolling.

Not so funny. We ban trolls. And we decide who's the troll, not the troll them-self. :closedeyes:

[TheUnknownPoet]

I have updated my post with a link to my introduction. I hope this helps.

[postman]

I'll have what he's smoking, or drinking or both! WOW, really?????

[TheUnknownPoet]

I'll have what he's smoking, or drinking or both! WOW, really?????


-

technically the chemical that causes you to dream is called Dimethyltryptamine

[intothenew]

I need to do a little more homework, but:

First, you must cook good mouse. That will give you some sense of normalsy. Cooking Rat, Cat, etc. will come natural then.

Cabernet, it goes good with Rat, never had it with the others, but I assume as much.

GPS, I'll get to that shortly.

Drop a note to Mom in the Cabernet bottles daily, DMS.

Rum, long term. It's amazing what you can do with Coconut and Rum.

[kyratshooter]

I thought everyone knew all you needed to survive on a Pacific island was a soccer ball, a marker pen and an ice skate!

[JPGreco]

It was a volleyball Kyrat...

[Phaedrus]

A helicopter wouldn't do me much good since I don't know how to fly it. I suppose if I was left with plenty of fuel though learning to fly it would give me something to do! The speed boat wouldn't be very helpful either once the gas was gone. Even with stabilizer I doubt gas would keep much beyond five years. Am I alone on the island or would I have someone to ski behind me?

With $100,000 worth of stuff with me I could live a comfy life until I ran up against some illness or injury I didn't know how to treat (and that leaves a lot of room!). You could have enough canned & freeze dried food to live on for as long as I would expect to live anyways (another 35 years if I'm lucky) and have a pretty varied diet. It would be nice to have some fishing gear to fight boredom and add some fresh fish to the menu. Probably a couple guns if the island had anything to hunt, and as defense against The Others, polar bears and smoke monsters. It wouldn't take a lot of gear to desalinate water, and with that $100k worth of stuff there'd be no reason not to have many years worth already ready to go.

I suppose I'd take a couple of Kindles and a solar charger, and a big pile of books for when the Kindle crapped out on me. Lastly I guess I'd need a couple of volleyballs and a bike pump to keep them inflated.

[Faiaoga]

:blush: If the question is at all serious, then the answer "join the army" is as good as any. A person could also become a medical missionary, a Peace Corps volunteer or any number of things that would require living in the tropical island environment and learning from the local people who already live there. Samoa, Fiji, Palau, the Philippines, Thailand, Panama and similar locales already have people who survive (thrive) there. With $100,000 worth of supplies, a person should do well IF he/she has the same knowledge and skills that locals use to survive with only bush knives and cooking pots. On the other hand, a newcomer without knowledge and skills will not last long. Faiaoga

[pete lynch]

Just our weekly troll! :closedeyes:

It only took 9 posts this time to call out a troll.

[TheUnknownPoet]

A helicopter wouldn't do me much good since I don't know how to fly it. I suppose if I was left with plenty of fuel though learning to fly it would give me something to do! The speed boat wouldn't be very helpful either once the gas was gone. Even with stabilizer I doubt gas would keep much beyond five years. Am I alone on the island or would I have someone to ski behind me?

With $100,000 worth of stuff with me I could live a comfy life until I ran up against some illness or injury I didn't know how to treat (and that leaves a lot of room!). You could have enough canned & freeze dried food to live on for as long as I would expect to live anyways (another 35 years if I'm lucky) and have a pretty varied diet. It would be nice to have some fishing gear to fight boredom and add some fresh fish to the menu. Probably a couple guns if the island had anything to hunt, and as defense against The Others, polar bears and smoke monsters. It wouldn't take a lot of gear to desalinate water, and with that $100k worth of stuff there'd be no reason not to have many years worth already ready to go.

I suppose I'd take a couple of Kindles and a solar charger, and a big pile of books for when the Kindle crapped out on me. Lastly I guess I'd need a couple of volleyballs and a bike pump to keep them inflated.
I was thinking it would work if I hired one of those cargo friegters and brought on the island a shipping container of MRE's and some water distilling apparatus, as well as like a ready to build portable house with solar panels and such.








I mean, it's not exactly survival, it's more like, move to an uninhabited island, more or less.

-

All you'd need for this is a few hundred K, and you should survive fine, No? .. in theory

[ClayPick]

Why not spend way less cash and rent one, it would give you a chance to grasp the realities of living on an island. Something like this goes cheap this time of year. You can island hop to the mainland or whoever takes you there will be good enough to see that you don’t parish.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v92/Back_Burner/017-1_zps352bf052.jpg

[TheUnknownPoet]

Why not spend way less cash and rent one, it would give you a chance to grasp the realities of living on an island. Something like this goes cheap this time of year. You can island hop to the mainland or whoever takes you there will be good enough to see that you don’t parish.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v92/Back_Burner/017-1_zps352bf052.jpg


-

Can you provide me more information?
Where did you get that picture from?

-

I've looked at islands (Hypothetically, of course) And they all are either too close to land (There are some islands in florida) Or massive peices of excrement no one wants to live on (Or even can) (Like a huge swamp)

-

The one I had in mind (hypothetically) is an abandoned rain forest type thing with a colony there from 1909. Everybnody's dead, and only scientists go there once in a blue moon to photograph animals that don't exist anywhere else in the world. I doubt becoming an expert doctor would be of help when it comes to being bitten by a spider no one's discovered yet, or a snake there's no antivenom for. (Although being a octor would be useful AF in a situation like this.)

-

Anyways, I didn't know islands could be rented, would you mind linking me to more resources where I could get information about this?
(Perishing is not something that worries me, I could honestly care less if that happens.)

[crashdive123]

The one I had in mind (hypothetically) is an abandoned rain forest type thing with a colony there from 1909. Everybnody's dead, and only scientists go there once in a blue moon to photograph animals that don't exist anywhere else in the world. I doubt becoming an expert doctor would be of help when it comes to being bitten by a spider no one's discovered yet, or a snake there's no antivenom for. (Although being a octor would be useful AF in a situation like this.)


Quite the imagination you have there.

[TheUnknownPoet]

Deleted negative comments.

[Rick]

As it happened, I lived on Swains Island in the South Pacific for a wee bit of time. On the east side of the island. It was a lonely existence. Every day I sat and looked out at the ocean. Every day seagulls would poop on me. There were a lot of seagulls. Catching seagull poop became a pass time of sorts. That's the way I kept in shape. Running up and down he beach catching seagull poop mid air. Eleven months I lived alone. Bearded and bedraggled, covered in seagull poop with only coconut husks for a hong. Did I mention coconut husks are itchy? But I digress. Imagine my surprise when I traipsed to the west side of the island and found a town there?! I was mortified. So I packed up the spare coconut husk hong and paddle into the sunset. I came to on a beach with natives standing over me.

"Where am I?" I asked.
"Yap" was the reply.
"Yap?"
"Yep."

So it was I found myself on Yap Island. A very wealthy island it was. Money was everywhere. I left rather quickly on the second day stealing a rather large supply of Yapese money. Unfortunately, they are 8 foot stone discs. My canoe was sunk and I lost my spare hong not to mention about $3 or 9 stones.

Forty seven days I was adrift on my overturned canoe still clinging to one last Yapese (12 cents). I finally came ashore on Huahine. My very first glimpse of the native women echoed the name of the island. there was another island just to the north named Huahine Nui or Big Huahine. As far as I could tell it was named after the chief's wife but don't quote me on that. As luck would have it they had an air strip there. I purchased a one way ticket to the U.S. with my one remaining Yapese and I've never been back.

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Good luck with that.

[TheUnknownPoet]

Your Inbox is full.

[Rick]

I was about to get all irate and then I realized you said it was my inbox that was full of...never mind. It's fixed.

[crashdive123]

You're pretty dense, aren't you?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alejandro_Selkirk_Island

Not nearly as dense as...

Someone with no survival experience.
Someone who cannot shoot.
Someone who sucks with a bow.
Has excessive medical supplies but doesn't know how to use them.
Drops acid.

Now - if you have an issue with me or a post I make it might be best to send me a PM.

[TheUnknownPoet]

I cannot shoot with a handgun. I'm fine with a rifle, however. I don't know many people who hunt with handguns anyhow.

Yea, I suck with a bow, but last I checked, they don't ****ing run out of ammo, so i'd learn to use it.

I have basic medical skills, however I have ****ing bullet removal kits and goddamn self - surgery **** that I don't know how to use and I can 100% guarantee you don't either.

And last but not least, I don't see how acid has ANYTHING to do with wether or not i'd survive on an island. It's unfair you bring that up.

That's like me judging your ability to drive a car based on what your favorite food is. Completely nonsensical and unnecessary.

You're probably right I won't survive on an island.

But, if you read the OP, you'd see that in my hypothetical situation I can take over whatever the **** well I please, including a helicopter and a speedboat (Heh believe it or not, I can pilot both, not that it matters, considering this is all hypthetical) As well as anything that does not exceed 100,000$ in value, size not being much of an issue.

But it doesn't seem like anyone on this forum can actually read, and resorts to calling people trolls when in fact, the ironic thing is the only people that have been trolling has been you guys, not me.

Also, i didn't ask anyone to spoonfeed me, or tell me it can't be done or that I should stop taking acid or stop eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I wasn't asking anyone to com,e up with a survival plan. I wasn't asking anyone to tell me what i should take with me.

I was merely asking to be pointed in the right direction as to where i'd be able to attain such knowledge should this hypothetical situation occur.

But it seems like this forum is made up of edgy 12 year olds who think that I have to have it as difficult as possible, not knowing that 100,000 can go a pretty long way. (Hmmm what about 10 years worth of MRE's some flint and steel as well as water distillation equipment and a hatchet? That alone does not reach the hypothetical 100,000$ limit, and with the hatchet a shelter can be built, I have water and I don't have to worry about food, and considering that the island is subtropical so I don't have to wory about freezing to death in the winter, it starts to seem like i'll live more than 2 days, in this hypothetical situation. And this is just crap i pulled of the top of my head, imagine taking about 5 years to learn and plan it out.)

But heh, what do I know. You guys are the experts.

[Desert Rat!]

I cannot shoot with a handgun. I'm fine with a rifle, however. I don't know many people who hunt with handguns anyhow.

Yea, I suck with a bow, but last I checked, they don't ****ing run out of ammo, so i'd learn to use it.

I have basic medical skills, however I have ****ing bullet removal kits and goddamn self - surgery **** that I don't know how to use and I can 100% guarantee you don't either.

And last but not least, I don't see how acid has ANYTHING to do with wether or not i'd survive on an island. It's unfair you bring that up.

That's like me judging your ability to drive a car based on what your favorite food is. Completely nonsensical and unnecessary.

You're probably right I won't survive on an island.

But, if you read the OP, you'd see that in my hypothetical situation I can take over whatever the **** well I please, including a helicopter and a speedboat (Heh believe it or not, I can pilot both, not that it matters, considering this is all hypthetical) As well as anything that does not exceed 100,000$ in value, size not being much of an issue.

But it doesn't seem like anyone on this forum can actually read, and resorts to calling people trolls when in fact, the ironic thing is the only people that have been trolling has been you guys, not me.

Also, i didn't ask anyone to spoonfeed me, or tell me it can't be done or that I should stop taking acid or stop eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I wasn't asking anyone to com,e up with a survival plan. I wasn't asking anyone to tell me what i should take with me.

I was merely asking to be pointed in the right direction as to where i'd be able to attain such knowledge should this hypothetical situation occur.

But it seems like this forum is made up of edgy 12 year olds who think that I have to have it as difficult as possible, not knowing that 100,000 can go a pretty long way. (Hmmm what about 10 years worth of MRE's some flint and steel as well as water distillation equipment and a hatchet? That alone does not reach the hypothetical 100,000$ limit, and with the hatchet a shelter can be built, I have water and I don't have to worry about food, and considering that the island is subtropical so I don't have to wory about freezing to death in the winter, it starts to seem like i'll live more than 2 days, in this hypothetical situation. And this is just crap i pulled of the top of my head, imagine taking about 5 years to learn and plan it out.)

But heh, what do I know. You guys are the experts. What in the wide wide world of sports is going on here!

[BENESSE]

TheUnknownPoet is yanking everyone's chain...making $hit up as he goes along, and pretty sophomoric, too. (or is it moronic?)
Now, we generally we catch this early on, but it's slow around here, what with the holidays and all so I can see how a "live one" can get people going.

[buckslayer]

What in the wide wide world of sports is going on here!


I was wondering the same thing until I got a headache from trying to figure out what kind of crack that dude was smoking.

Looks to me like he's nothing but a smart ***. A few people have been actually trying to figure him out so they can help and uhm.... yeah...

[BENESSE]

I think he's been sniffing glue, just from the way he sounds. LSD is is a little more thought out.

[kyratshooter]

What in the wide wide world of sports is going on here!


It's called a "fruitcake toss".

The OP is a fruitcake and everyone is tossing it around and giggling like little girls.

It is much the same as a "troll toss" only a troll toss has less giggling.

Usually, with a troll toss, the insults have come out by page three and someone has been banned.

[Sarge47]

I think he's getting a bit upset at all of the ribbing. We're not taking him seriously. Really? We're supposed to take a self-confessed drug-induced fantasy seriously? How does that work? :confused1:

[Rick]

He doesn't have to worry about being dropped on an island. I drop kicked him through the goal posts of life. Not much of a survivor that one.

[jaydentor]

Lol. I've missed you guys.

[Sarge47]

He doesn't have to worry about being dropped on an island. I drop kicked him through the goal posts of life. Not much of a survivor that one.

Let's see now, where did I put that violin? Does anyone know the words to that great Oldie: "Just a Matter of Time?" :confused1:

[Faiaoga]

;) Rick: In have enjoyed reading some of your posts and sharing information, I hope in a respecful and courteous way, with other people here.

I hope you enjoyed your stay on Swains Island. While I never made it there myself, I have met a few people from there. They tell me that the fishing is great and that even a "papalagi" (white man) can learn to survive there if he is willing to listen and learn. You probably had a lot of opportunity to husk coconuts with a "mele'i" (sharpened wooden stake) and to use your "sapelu" (bush knife or machete) to clear brush, cut palm fronds, and collect firewood. Perhaps you had a chance to learn about starting a fire using the Polynesian fire plow method. You can then make the "umu" (oven using hot stones) to bake taro, bananas and breadfrui. I know little about wearing the famous hong, but you know that the "ie lavalava" (wraparound or sarong) is comfortable to wear.

Boredom could be a problem, but a wise person will bring to Swains Island his "Tusi Paia" (Samoan language Bible), a copy of Milner's Samoan-English Dictionary, and perhaps Proverbial Expressions of the Samoans. Those three books will be a good way to pass the time and and improve Samoan language skills.

:closedeyes: I hope the person asking about tropical island survival will remember that some peoples actually do live there and have done so successfully for thousands of years. I am fortunate to have lived in both Western Samoa and American Samoa. Although no place is perfect, Samoa is a decent place with people who are generally kind and helpful.
Faiaoga ("schoolteacher" in Samoan)

[Wildthang]

Man we sure get some doozies around here:scared:

[crashdive123]

Just a young man that hasn't quite grown up yet.

[ClayPick]

Well that went from amusing to arsinine quick. The ironic thing is, with a little show of common sense he had the chance even if it is a little out of his temperature range.

[BENESSE]

He doesn't have to worry about being dropped on an island. I drop kicked him through the goal posts of life. Not much of a survivor that one.

Hey, I thought only Jesus did that.
I am in awe!

[Sarge47]

;) Rick: In have enjoyed reading some of your posts and sharing information, I hope in a respecful and courteous way, with other people here.

I hope you enjoyed your stay on Swains Island. While I never made it there myself, I have met a few people from there. They tell me that the fishing is great and that even a "papalagi" (white man) can learn to survive there if he is willing to listen and learn. You probably had a lot of opportunity to husk coconuts with a "mele'i" (sharpened wooden stake) and to use your "sapelu" (bush knife or machete) to clear brush, cut palm fronds, and collect firewood. Perhaps you had a chance to learn about starting a fire using the Polynesian fire plow method. You can then make the "umu" (oven using hot stones) to bake taro, bananas and breadfrui. I know little about wearing the famous hong, but you know that the "ie lavalava" (wraparound or sarong) is comfortable to wear.

Boredom could be a problem, but a wise person will bring to Swains Island his "Tusi Paia" (Samoan language Bible), a copy of Milner's Samoan-English Dictionary, and perhaps Proverbial Expressions of the Samoans. Those three books will be a good way to pass the time and and improve Samoan language skills.

:closedeyes: I hope the person asking about tropical island survival will remember that some peoples actually do live there and have done so successfully for thousands of years. I am fortunate to have lived in both Western Samoa and American Samoa. Although no place is perfect, Samoa is a decent place with people who are generally kind and helpful.
Faiaoga ("schoolteacher" in Samoan)

Ahhh yes, an Island! I recall back when I was selling insurance I qualified for a convention that took place on an island...Honolulu! They put us up in really nice rooms at the Hawaiian Hilton Village where Don Ho lived and performed! Now that was survival....those prices were ridiculous! :noway:

[crashdive123]

Hey, I thought only Jesus did that.
I am in awe!

Is that an opinion???? You know that Rick charges for those right?

[Desert Rat!]

To bad he's gone I wanted to hear what he was going to buy with the $100,000.00!:wacko:

[BENESSE]

Is that an opinion???? You know that Rick charges for those right?

I seem to recall a country song: "Drop kick me, Jesus, through the goal posts of life." So no, it's not an opinion, it's a fact.
Jesus is gonna be mighty surprised to find out Rick's threading on his turf.

[crashdive123]

I'm familiar with it, I think Rick gives Him a discount for his opinions.

[Sarge47]

I seem to recall a country song: "Drop kick me, Jesus, through the goal posts of life." So no, it's not an opinion, it's a fact.
Jesus is gonna be mighty surprised to find out Rick's threading on his turf.

Yeah but Rick's "special," that's why he gets the "Holy Hong!" :w00t:

[hunter63]

It's called a "fruitcake toss".

The OP is a fruitcake and everyone is tossing it around and giggling like little girls.

It is much the same as a "troll toss" only a troll toss has less giggling.

Usually, with a troll toss, the insults have come out by page three and someone has been banned.


Hummmm, I'm thinking maybe interweb history has been made....."Fruitcake toss".....I like it.

[Stiffy]

I was going to hold off on this, but I just couldn't help myself. I think I got this guy figured out. He ("the unknown poet") says he knows how to operate a helicopter and a speed boat? Well, I'm betting he also knows 12 languages and has a license to kill. His true identity is . . . Bond, poet Bond.

[Sarge47]

I was going to hold off on this, but I just couldn't help myself. I think I got this guy figured out. He ("the unknown poet") says he knows how to operate a helicopter and a speed boat? Well, I'm betting he also knows 12 languages and has a license to kill. His true identity is . . . Bond, poet Bond.

http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-laughing025.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/) http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-laughing025.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/) http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-laughing025.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/)

[Rick]

I have decided that one of the harder things in life is trying to keep up with the definitions that KY has. Most are quite original and worthy of addition to our lexicon. We had another here at one time that has a very similar knack for descriptions. "Like a lost ball in tall grass" has stuck with me for some time. "Fruitcake Toss" will as well I'm sure.

As for Jesus, I do give him a break on opinions. He doesn't offer many and they are generally correct when he does offer them so I cut him some slack. You might take note. He wrote down "Fruitcake Toss".

[Faiaoga]

:w00t:Sarge47: Congratulations on surviving Honolulu. As you know now, a Honolulu Survival Kit will be a wallet full of $20 bills and a dozen credit cards.

Rick: Congratulations on knowing that Swains Island, Tahiti and Yap are not the same place. Most mainland Americans think that any Pacific island (north or south of the equator) is in Hawaii. You really should send an example of the famous Hong to the Bishop Museum in Honolulu to be part of their collection of traditional dress. I hope it will be displayed prominently.
:no:

[Rick]

Sadly, there wasn't much left after all the scratching. Those coconut husks itch and the ends are kinda pokey.

[jfeatherjohn]

Did I just spend 15 minutes reading this thread?
I need to go to a Pacific island and meditate...
or something like that.

[Warheit]

Aw, this guy got ragged on pretty bad. Hope he had a Merry Christmas.

[Sarge47]

Did I just spend 15 minutes reading this thread?
I need to go to a Pacific island and meditate...
or something like that.

Remember that old commercial? "This is your brain...This is your brain on drugs!" 'Nuff said!" :creepy: :whistling:

[Exbrit]

What utter claptrap.

[finallyME]

Most mainland Americans think that any Pacific island (north or south of the equator) is in Hawaii.

Wait, wait, wait.......are you suggesting that they aren't? Midway is right next to Hawaii. I saw it on a map. It was only like a few inches away.

[kyratshooter]

I have decided that one of the harder things in life is trying to keep up with the definitions that KY has. Most are quite original and worthy of addition to our lexicon. We had another here at one time that has a very similar knack for descriptions. "Like a lost ball in tall grass" has stuck with me for some time. "Fruitcake Toss" will as well I'm sure.

As for Jesus, I do give him a break on opinions. He doesn't offer many and they are generally correct when he does offer them so I cut him some slack. You might take note. He wrote down "Fruitcake Toss".

I must admit that I did not create te "fruitcake toss" label. That was done by my Mother sometime in the early 1960s when one of the less well liked in-laws gave one of those horrid prefabricated fruitcakes, that we always suspected was really made from spiced and candied sawdust, as a Christmas present to one of the other aunts or uncles. They kept it for a year and regifted it back to the origional giver, who saved it for another year and gave it to someone else until it finally found a home under our tree.

By this time we were in our teens and the natural progression of events occured and congealed into a "how much money would it take for you to eat that fiutcake?" holiday bidding war.

My Mom got wind of the auction and nixed the whole "let Mikey eat it" rotinue by gathering us around the table and opening the fruitcake. She was doing this to show us what would happen to a processed food after 5-6 years of passing around a family and cluing us in on mold growth and food poisoning.

Much to our amazement the canned and sealed brandy soaked wonder showed no mold growth and still had a moist texture. I offered my opinion that these fruitcakes had been invented for storage in bomb shelters and would last forever, like Twinkies.

She would not allow us to test the preservation state and commented that he only thing these canned fruitcakes were good for was to toss around the family like a humorous insult.

Thus was coined the term "fruitcake toss".

The fruitcake was replaced with an Old Spice gift set that circulated for about a decade and the women passed around an Avon bottle of some putrid mess for about the same time.

[hunter63]

Where ever it came from, seems appropriate in many situations........

[Wildthang]

I was in a meeting one day, and we were discussing a contractor that was performing in a les than steller manner. I finally got mad and proclaimed, " those guys are s_rewing us like a house cat ", and the entire management team broke out in laughter. After 10 minutes of hee hawing, one of them said, O.D., I have never heard that phrase before, and what exactly does it mean, I said isn't the meaning apparent?
So we have been using that phrase for around 10 years now!