Sons and/or daughters that have no interest in hunting or the outdoors

[tsitenha]

I guess I am thick headed and dense, i just realised my son really has no interest in the outdoors, hunting, fishing, shooting....whatever:confused1:

I have done my best to entice him to learn but to no avail.

Frankly I am disapointed, disallusioned, and bewildered about this turn of events.

My life time of preparedness down the drain I feel.:splat:

Just ranting I guess, anyone else so distraugh?

[tsitenha]

I am thinking more and more on this.....
such a sick feeling I have never had....

I guess this is survival

[RangerXanatos]

Perhaps it is just a stage and he'll pick up the interest later. Time can only tell. In the meanwhile, enjoy it yourself. :)

[Alaskan Survivalist]

Well maybe he'll find the next 40 years of work and debt slavery interesting.

[Swamprat1958]

tsitenha don't give up on it yet. My son had little to no interest in hunting until he turned 10. He was to interested in video games, skateboards, etc. I always asked him if he wanted to go and he might have gone once or twice a year from the time he was 4 until he turned 10. Now he is ready to go every chance he gets.

Just be patient, you can't force him to hunt and you can't act horribly disappointed that he doesn't want to go. Just keep offering him the opportunity and see what happens. Hopefully he will come around in time.

[pgvoutdoors]

I've always encouraged my son to take an interest in outdoors. Over the past seventeen years he has enjoyed many activities but never to the degree I did at his age. I must admit he is involved in many other activities that weren't available to me as a child. But just this past year he came to me and said that he was finding a greater interest in fishing and wilderness survival. He wanted to learn more before he graduated high school this year.

I believe every boy should be introduced to outdoor recreation and encouraged to pursue some aspect of it. Plant the seeds when their young but realize that it may take time to grow. Most men that were exposed to the outdoors when young develop some interest as an adult. It is well worth the time to show them the way even if they travel that path later down the road.

[SARKY]

Don't feed him and send him out into the woods to gather his own food, That might change his mind.

[your_comforting_company]

It is disappointing and discouraging. You can't force a person to think the way you do, even if it is your own offspring.
Most of the flash and bang out there distracts folks from our true roots, and it's something that you have to gain an appreciation for, before you can decide it's not for you. Many a country hick has left this town to go to the big city and make good lives for themselves. I'm sure their parents take pride in that, as much as I take pride in my kids tying sticks together, or just going fishing.
Not sure how old your kids are, but if you live in a small town, it is often an act of seeking something "better" than a small town mentality. It took me years to realize that I was really wasting my life away with all the "high tech" stuff, like phones and computers and games. Now I realize that actually sitting down with the kids and playing board games, leaving the phone turned off, etc. was much more fulfilling.

He'll come around eventually. Don't beat yourself up about it. If it's any consolation, My daughter hates bugs, dirt, mud, sweat, gnats, dirt, worms, fishing, dirt.. did I mention she doesn't like dirt?

[Rick]

Why are you (or any of you) disappointed? You made your own choices didn't you? No one forces you to go to the woods today, spend time doing whatever YOU like to do. What's wrong with a son or daughter choosing their own road. Everyone on here talks about making your own choices and finding your own path. Then, when someone does just that, folks are disappointed. A tad hypocritical if you ask me.

I have one son that likes the outdoors, one that can take it or leave it and a daughter that can take it or leave it. That's fine with me whatever their choice. Life is short enough without doing something because someone else has special expectations for you. Do what makes you happy. That's really the first rule, isn't it?

[Beo]

Throw him out!!!
Naw just joking, look my son likes to camp but his idea is to take the whole house with him. He's doesn't like fishing or hunting, and he hikes only to the frige. But what I gotta do is let him become his own man.
Sure I'd love for him to like to do the survival things I like, but if that's not him then he's become his man. He's into college and technology and computers, doesn't wanna do the outdoors but that's him. He still makes me proud, he's smart as a whip, and has a bright future, if the shtf, he'll come home and learn then. My job as his dad is teach him when and if he's ready. Forcing him will turn him off more so just let him grow into his person.
I know it sucks but he's just his own person and that's a good thing.
Beo,

[Justin Case]

What YCC and Rick said !

[oly]

When mine was young they would rather stay home and play with friends but they wasn't old enough to stay home alone. Now with the youngest of 21, me and the wife have to ditch them when we wont to go alone.

maybe this is the same situation your in now.

[Alaskan Survivalist]

Children doing as they please is good preparation for the rest of thier fairy tale lives where they will always have a choice and never have to do hard things. I gives them good practice making the big decisions like will I be a a male or a female today. Self indulgence is what America is all about.

[your_comforting_company]

Just to fortify what Rick says.. My own father could care less about survival, or any primitive skills. When I was growing up it was all hunting and fishing and working on cars. Luckily my Grandad was around when I was little and he had tremendous impact on my views about being self-reliant. Of course it wasn't until I was older that any of it made sense.

What I'm getting at... We are all individuals and we see things through our own eyes, and our existence is the product of our exposure and experiences. Who I am now, is not who I would have been had I not had the freedom to live my life and make my own choices.
Now here I am full circle.. seeking the self-reliant lifestyle my grandfather instilled in me as a child.
Life has to be lived!!

[Rick]

Children doing as they please is good preparation for the rest of thier fairy tale lives where they will always have a choice and never have to do hard things. I gives them good practice making the big decisions like will I be a a male or a female today. Self indulgence is what America is all about.

What a great post!!! That's the best laugh I've had so far today. Thanks!!

[ClayPick]

Here's my grandkids, I ended up with the exact opposite.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v92/Back_Burner/gk.jpg

[Alaskan Survivalist]

What a great post!!! That's the best laugh I've had so far today. Thanks!!

You just like it because I am agreeing with you.

[kyratshooter]

My Dad was a college professor, pastor, dedicated pacificist, antiwar liberal. He was the long standing ametuer Chess champion of our state and the first computer nerd of the 1970s era. He had absolutely zero knowledge of which was the business end of a screwdriver and could not light a fire in the BBQ grill. The presence of a firearm would send him into convulsions. I was not allowed to join Boy Scouts due to the bad influnce they would have on me.

I was an outdoor kid. As soon as I could drive I had camping gear in my car trunk, including shotgun and rifle. I chose military science as my first minor in college, graduated in a uniform and volluntered for combat operations. My hobbies and lifestyle were choices he considered barbarian. He could not tolerate them or a person that engaged in them.

We bacame farther distanced as the years went by. No common ground for even a polite conversation, constant remarks concerning my "rebellion". The final break came when I took my son to hunter safty class and bought him a rifle for Christmas. My father was terribly disapointed that he could not have me charged with child endangerment and take custody of my children for a proper raising.

He died in 2005 and I had not spoken to him for the last 20 years of his life. He had two fine grandchildren he never got to know. He forbid my mother from continuing contact with me so I had no contact with her either, until after his death.

The pendilum swings in a wide arch. As parents we demand respect and tolerance. As long as we are gretting that respect and tolerance I feel we should have some of our own.

And keep in mind that one day he will be picking your nursing home.

[tsitenha]

To us, family loyalty was always paramount, there are ways to accomodate both.

Luckily He won't choose my old age home...every day I wake up is a medical miracle...just a matter of time(nyah:wen, thank the Creator for that small mercy).
Maybe that's what I find the most upsetting in that I will not be able to pass on anything to my son, or grand kids, he is 29 so the mold is made and he will never likely change or at least not in what remains to me.

I expected him to take care of family, as I did with my parents and they with theirs and so on and on. We go months with no contact (any talk or spending time doing thing together) just a nod going in and out of his house. Except of the time I was trainning in Japan, I saw my parents every day of my life* , brought them food, took them out on trips, help when they were sick, worked around the house and in their business.

I understand, to a point, of choosing your own road, but to what point of loosing what you are and have.

I still don't understand of forgeting his future.

*Need to revise: I was away on occassions and my wife went in my stead, wouldn't want for people to think of me as a lyar, when I was in town I did see them on a daily basis

[huskymill]

i have like the opposite situation. my dad doesnt hunt, he fishes sometimes but not often. his big thing is golf and i cant stand golfing lol.

[Rick]

tsitenha - The Chinese have a saying, "if you have a problem with another man look inside yourself for the answer."

The first step is yours. Accept him for who he is and be proud that he has chosen his own road. It doesn't mean that he will never chose the same path but for this time in his life his road is different. You can dislike what he does but love who he is unconditionally. You obviously raised him to be an independent soul capable of taking care of himself and, apparently, he is.

The next time you are with him give him a hug and tell him you love and respect him. I'll bet you find an entirely different relationship and one that you both can learn from.

If you are still concerned that your ways will be lost in him then write them down. It will be something all your future children will cherish as well. And who knows, some day he may pick up that book and start to learn from you whether you are here or not.

[Rick]

Kyrat - I am truly sorry that your life took that turn. There must be an unquenchable pain there. As I said above, a parent does not have to like what their child does but they should be able to differentiate between the act and the person and love them for who they are.

[kyratshooter]

Kyrat - I am truly sorry that your life took that turn. There must be an unquenchable pain there. As I said above, a parent does not have to like what their child does but they should be able to differentiate between the act and the person and love them for who they are.

Not anything anyone can do about the past.

I just hate to see anyone else going through this kind of thing. If you can do something about it do so. If there is nothing that can be achieved with one do what you can for the rest and stay open to reconsiliation.

We are all wounded in some way. sometimes is shows more in some than in others.

:triage:

[Justin Case]

A persons personality is well,,,,,, Personal,

[Rick]

My feelings exactly and worded just about the way I say it. I say we all have crosses to bear. Some are just more visible than others.

[Sarge47]

A persons personality is well,,,,,, Personal,That's profound! I just got to quote you!

Kyrat: I have an interest in performing magic that I've had ever since I was 11 years old. Today I perform for $$$. I've offered to teach both my son & my grandson but neither one is interested. I would love to be able to share my knowledge, contacts, etc., but no go. (Shrugging.) Oh well, both have other interests that they do very well with. They are not me, they are themselves, whatever that may be. & if they give me any crap I'll make 'em disappear! :dissolve: :euro: :sneaky2: :creepy:

[rwc1969]

My dad was quite knowledgable about the outdoors and instilled that in me at a very young age, so were my uncles. But, they would rather have me get a white collar office job and forget the lost skills and hands on stuff. I chose both!

Nobody forced me into loving the outdoors or going to college, etc.etc.

Every man and woman have to live their life the way they see fit and that's the bottom line. Any that don't are living in vain.

[aflineman]

My son was interested in hunting, now not so much. My daughter never has been. Both are interested in the outdoors though. Son is in Boy Scouts, and will have his Eagle next year. Daughter is out hiking with me every chance she gets. Sometimes she comes hunting with me, but she is pretty much a vegetarian, so I normally won't shoot something when she is with me. She sure has a good set of eyes and some tracking skills though.

Neither has turned out like me, but they are their own people. I can be somewhat disappointed, but there will eventually be Grandkids for me to hang around with. I can have some hope for them. :D

[Wise Old Owl]

I remember being thick headed, Dad kept trying to teach sellable skills, work ethic etc. Kept mentioning Dale Carnegie, who wrote the book "How to win freinds and irritate everyone" Now I am a salesman, the kid has grown up - played the damn videogames, cant work under the hood, no life skills, won't fish, won't trap, won't hike or camp...


can't keep a job. - HaHEHEHE sucks to be them.

[hunter63]

Well, all I can say, is it's better to have a child around to be disappointed in, than not.

They are yours, cherish them, love them, support them, enjoy them....the only disappointment is of your own making.

It's a good thing everyone doesn't think the same, can you imagine how crowded it would be out there is everyone thinks the same?

[Rick]

That's a good post, Hunter. I'm sure there were areas in my life that dad just shook his head about. Probably his dad wondered about him, too. I think it's universal. They can be a real pain in the pocketbook sometimes but still like having them around. I'm gonna need someone to change my diapers one of these days.:whistling:

[BENESSE]

Having been a kid once, and not having one of my own allows for a little distance and perhaps objectivity in the matter.
I think it's important to prioritize those qualities that are most important in a human being, kid or parent. Are they decent, caring, hard-working, respectful and responsible? If they are, consider yourself lucky and proud.
Even though we like to share our interests with loved ones regardless of whether we hunt, play sports, love music or make knives, the important thing is to respect each other's choices and let your love be that which you have most in common.

[Wise Old Owl]

Hunter & Rick I was wondering how that post would be recieved. Honest you try your best to bring them up right... You need to be tough and approchable, You steer gently and the boy avoids drugs, alchohol, STD's etc.. only to take a vow or poverty, elope and move several states away. I never saw it coming. Puts a different experience on the term servival.

[Sourdough]

I guess I am thick headed and dense, i just realised my son really has no interest in the outdoors, hunting, fishing, shooting....whatever:confused1:

I have done my best to entice him to learn but to no avail.

Frankly I am disapointed, disallusioned, and bewildered about this turn of events.

My life time of preparedness down the drain I feel.:splat:

Just ranting I guess, anyone else so distraugh?


Just send him up to live with me......"No hunt.....No EAT".

[Rick]

Some mature up later than others. We can't be responsible for our kids choices in life. I figure they have the right to live their life any way they choose. I certainly claimed the right for me. My motto is Hate the Act, Love the Child. If they do something wrong you don't have to like what they did but you should always love them unconditionally.

[DOGMAN]

"You can lead a horse to water- but you can't make him drink"....

I believe our jobs as parents are to teach our children the skills, and lessons we think they'll need to survive. So, to me (and you obviously) this means instilling a love for nature, animals, hunting & fishing, etc...

If you've exposed them to these things you feel are important- you've done your part. What they do with their lives is their option. Its their lives to lead- not yours... Love them for who they are. But, I bet eventually they'll come around and appreciate the things you've shared with them. Nature is like that....it creeps up on you.

[hunter63]

I guess I am thick headed and dense, i just realised my son really has no interest in the outdoors, hunting, fishing, shooting....whatever:confused1:

I have done my best to entice him to learn but to no avail.

Frankly I am disapointed, disallusioned, and bewildered about this turn of events.

My life time of preparedness down the drain I feel.:splat:

Just ranting I guess, anyone else so distraugh?

I wasn't going to bring this up,(well I supposed I kinda did), but I think it's important to put things intro perspective.

I lost my 19 year old son to cancer in 1988.
He had been a good/great kid, hunting with me, camping with his buddies even in winter, New Years eve.....first sign of trouble was a numbness in his legs while loading firewood (mine) for a camping trip.

Had spent time in the junior National Guard, or what ever you call it, and National Guard. They confirmed a problem before basic training, so was given
a medical discharge.

Nine months, and 10 days after graduating High school, he passed.

I miss him everyday, talk to him still,(he will turn up in my stories, from time to time) but I had 19 great years with him, and am very thankful for that, wonder to this day how he would have turned out.

I do wonder how it is for all those that have lost their children to military service,(knock on the door...we sorry to inform you) dumb accidents, and yes, even self destructing habits/bad choices.

I/we are at peace with this (as best as we can) as we DW and I did our level best to raise Todd and my daughter, the best way we knew how

I just stating this because your lament is almost universal, they are their own people, do the best you can with them, love them....and be thankful for them.
Things can change in an instant..........

I guess I just bothers me when I hear about someone disappointment in their children......You still have a chance.

[Sam]

I wasn't going to bring this up,(well I supposed I kinda did), but I think it's important to put things intro perspective.

I lost my 19 year old son to cancer in 1988.
He had been a good/great kid, hunting with me, camping with his buddies even in winter, New Years eve.....first sign of trouble was a numbness in his legs while loading firewood (mine) for a camping trip.

Had spent time in the junior National Guard, or what ever you call it, and National Guard. They confirmed a problem before basic training, so was given
a medical discharge.

Nine months, and 10 days after graduating High school, he passed.

I miss him everyday, talk to him still,(he will turn up in my stories, from time to time) but I had 19 great years with him, and am very thankful for that, wonder to this day how he would have turned out.

I do wonder how it is for all those that have lost their children to military service,(knock on the door...we sorry to inform you) dumb accidents, and yes, even self destructing habits/bad choices.

I/we are at peace with this (as best as we can) as we DW and I did our level best to raise Todd and my daughter, the best way we knew how

I just stating this because your lament is almost universal, they are their own people, do the best you can with them, love them....and be thankful for them.
Things can change in an instant..........

I guess I just bothers me when I hear about someone disappointment in their children......You still have a chance.


I know what you mean. I lost my second wife and both my girls to a drunk on the road. My oldest was two and my baby was seven months. I spent less than six months total with them ( on deployments then ) I wonder who they would be today. I am sorry for your loss.
-Sam

[hunter63]

I know what you mean. I lost my second wife and both my girls to a drunk on the road. My oldest was two and my baby was seven months. I spent less than six months total with them ( on deployments then ) I wonder who they would be today. I am sorry for your loss.
-Sam

I sorry for yours, as well.
I'm sure a lot of us have suffered terrible losses, we can't change that, but maybe relating these will be of help to those that have been spared, so far.

[Rick]

Man, you guys broke my heart. I'm sorry for the incredible depth of pain you must have felt and still deal with. No parent should outlive a child.

[kyratshooter]

I am not trying to shove my beliefs on anyone, but I must insert something.

I was thinking about the nature of heaven yesterday as the pastor prattled along. I do not know exactly what it is like up there. The Lord said there was no marriage or giving in marriage, so my wife that is waiting up there will not have the same status or relationship as we had down here. I sure loved her though, and I will still love her just as much when I get to see her again.

The trick is that I will love everyone I meet in heaven just as much as I do her. And they will all love me just as much as she loved me. It will go on forever and there is not a single thin I can do that will make it stop. No one will ever be disapointed in me or me in them. Nothing I say will make anyone mad or hurt their feelings.

That keeps me focused and my life on track. It is the only reason I can wake up each morning and face the emptiness of another day.

:angelwings:

[hunter63]

Don't forget about our 4 legged fur-kids, they will all be waiting for ya, as well.

Whole point is, some stuff you can control, some stuff you can't, I guess as the worst thing that could happen has already happened........everything else is small stuff.

Don't take your self too seriously, enjoy what you can, love them kids.........

[BENESSE]

"Heaven is a place where all the pets you ever loved come running out to greet you."

[kyratshooter]

"Heaven is a place where all the pets you ever loved come running out to greet you."




Does it count if you ran over a couple of them while they were chasing the truck?

[BENESSE]

Unlike people, it's unconditional love with pets.
Besides, you'll be in heaven.

[FVR]

While snuggling with my son one evening, I asked what was on his mind. He said that I would be mad if he told me, I told him to give it a shot.

At 7yrs old, he told me that he did not want to go into the USMC with tears in his eyes, he also said that he did not want to kill animals.

I just hugged him and explained.

Son, I have made my path through the woods, it is my path and mine alone. You will get older and have to make your own path, our paths may cross, you may follow my path for awhile. But it is my path, you will have to make your own.

He understood. Two weeks ago he asked when could he go hunting with me, he did not want to kill anything, just go in the woods.

That's my son.

[DOGMAN]

Hunter and Sam, your posts brought tears to my eyes...I am so sorry for your losses. I have a 2 year old son that means more to me than anything in the world, I can't imagine losing him. He is just entering his "terrible two's" and becoming a real handful. Your posts put it all back into perspective though...you've got to appreciate each day while you've got them, because you never know what might happen. thanks for sharing and making me think, live and love

[DOGMAN]

While snuggling with my son one evening, I asked what was on his mind. He said that I would be mad if he told me, I told him to give it a shot.

At 7yrs old, he told me that he did not want to go into the USMC with tears in his eyes, he also said that he did not want to kill animals.

I just hugged him and explained.

Son, I have made my path through the woods, it is my path and mine alone. You will get older and have to make your own path, our paths may cross, you may follow my path for awhile. But it is my path, you will have to make your own.

He understood. Two weeks ago he asked when could he go hunting with me, he did not want to kill anything, just go in the woods.

That's my son.

thats awesome....

[hunter63]

While snuggling with my son one evening, I asked what was on his mind. He said that I would be mad if he told me, I told him to give it a shot.

At 7yrs old, he told me that he did not want to go into the USMC with tears in his eyes, he also said that he did not want to kill animals.

I just hugged him and explained.

Son, I have made my path through the woods, it is my path and mine alone. You will get older and have to make your own path, our paths may cross, you may follow my path for awhile. But it is my path, you will have to make your own.

He understood. Two weeks ago he asked when could he go hunting with me, he did not want to kill anything, just go in the woods.

That's my son.

Thats cool, thanks for posting this.

[Wise Old Owl]

I really identify with Tsitenha that we try so hard to have a good time with our kids - I even tried to sit there and play some of those video games - to no avail. We tripped up to Maine, etc... there was a hint when he was 17 and bailed on a week in Canada, oh well.

[Batch]

Find common ground.

My son has little interest in guns. I don't know if he has fired a firearm. He shot archery and bb guns as a kid. He played paintball. He would go hunting and just hang and camp.

His friends would ask him to call when I was bringing gators home so they could come by and watch. They like to get pictures with the gators. He saw how some of the greatest enjoyment of the hunt is sitting back and retelling points and building memories.

He decided he wanted to hunt gator and killed his first one last year. He sat upon its back and killed it with a Hilti nail gun. LOL

Here he is sitting on it waiting for the nail gun to dispatch it. It was like a 7' or 8' gator not big though not bad.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y136/bigcypress/IMG_0003-1.jpg

My girls decided they like to watch me with the gators. But, they stay back until I got the gator pinned (or he has me pinned). LOL They shoot though and are more into the fire arm for self defense thought pattern.

It really doesn't matter what activity your remembering fondly with your kids. Just so long as you find one. Sam and Hunter have shown we just need to spend the time wisely. Cause we are never told how much we get...

[panch0]

My dad was a trucker and he only took me fishing once and thats all it took. I have taken my kids out and they have fun, but sometimes choose not to go. When they do go I let them know how happy I am that they come. Darn video games are powerful kid drugs.