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MCBushbaby
12-03-2007, 03:24 AM
First off, I'm not sure how well this will work without going off-topic, but in other forums there is such a thing called an "ongoing story" or "make your own story" where the original poster will start off a fictitious story with a single sentence and each successive response will add another sentence. Thing is, these usually are so successful and fun because of the way the final story reads (pretty much like if you got a room full of kids with ADD to write a story). But let's try something like it... more on-topic and extending the post limit to a paragraph or so.

Generally the premise will be to complete the story of "Tomas O'Reily" (don't ask me why he's Irish) after he finds himself lost in the woods after a heavy night of binge drinking (stereotypical?) using the survival skills we know. Let's say Tomas just lit a fire using some method and now needs to find a way to boil water - how does he do this? Please go into detail but if your explanation lasts longer than, oh say, 8 sentences, leave the remaining for the next person to complete. By the time Tomas is rescued/finds his way out/dies, the story should be a fairly interesting tail of survival and survival honing experiences. Also, other than finding or making stuff in the wild, let's not add anything to his situation which I'll explain later. Meaning, if he has X, Y and Z, don't add an Eagleclaw fishing hook, instead say he sharpened his pen cap with his pocketknife and wove some line from a plant somewhere, for example of course. EDIT: as another note for all you pro-trackers on this forum, let's assume aliens dropped him from the sky and there are no tracks for him to follow back to town. :)

Oh, and a note, please don't try to kill Tomas. i.e. "Tomas was hungry so he went off in search of food. He came across a small bush with several white flower umbels and said 'wow! Wild Parsnip!' and ate hungrily at the plant's roots. So dazed from his hunger Tomas didn't notice the purple-tinted stems and promptly succumbed to hemlock poisoning three hours later in horrific pain."

I'll start:

Call me Ishmal, er, Tomas. Damn my head's sore. I shouldn't have drank so much last night... whoa... where the hell am I? It's midday and I'm in, like, this clearing surrounded by a forest of pine, oak, maple. Friends' must've dropped me off here as a joke.. or maybe I wandered out here... oh man, I have no idea. Luckily it's summer and 70F during the day. This must be what that Bear Grizzly guys on the discovery channel was talking about - a 'survival' situation. Ok, let's see what I've got: folding pocket knife, sunglasses, wallet, couple coins, couple peanuts from the bar, bottle opener, some chick's phone number on a napkin, a pen, and an empty beer bottle... great... just freakin' great. That and the clothes on my back: long-sleeve nightclub shirt, slacks, cotton socks, underwear, and tennis shoes.

Sarge47
12-03-2007, 07:33 AM
"Just me luck, I left me "Ranger Rick" Survival Necklace on me Beareu 'cause it kept getting tangled up with me gold chains. Oh, hear's somethin' I missed, a book of matches from that bar. Only three paper matches left though. Rats! If there was a phone nearby, or if I had a Cell I could call that chick to come get me, that's a good line, 'hello Babe, sorry, but could you come get me, I seem to be lost. No I don't know where I am, I'm lost.' No that wouldn't work anyway. Couldn't come find me if I can't tell her where I am. Are there any large elephant turds around?"(sorry, couldn't resist.)

Rick
12-03-2007, 07:58 AM
Okay, lad. Ya need to stop an' think a wee bit. Oh, me achin' head. What are me priorities? Let's see. The bloomin' sun is already overhead so I have near on eight hours of light left. It would be a wee bit nice if I could figure out where I am so I can decide which way is home. Otherwise, me sorry arse is gonna be stuck out here over night without a drop of Guinness. Now that would be a survival tragedy.

MCBushbaby
12-03-2007, 11:09 AM
Well I suppose it's time to figure out where I am. Hopefully I'm only a couple hundred yards from a highway or town. Looking around I see a pine tree that's a bit taller than his surrounding brethren. Pine trees are great for climbing because, once you can get to the bottom-most branches, the rest is like a ladder. After some post-drunken-stupor stumbling and shimmying, I managed to get to a decent vantage point. Rats, nuthin'. Trees, trees, and more trees. There's a small lake or pond or something to the southest with a break in the treeline leading to it, I assume it's a stream. Oh my hangover, best find some water soon.

Sarge47
12-03-2007, 12:48 PM
...Yes, water, not as good as a pint of Stout, but will have to do. I may as wel try for the lake. Wait a minute, whats that shufflin' sound?:eek:

Rick
12-03-2007, 02:09 PM
A leprechaun?! Whew, I thought I was seein' things there for a moment. Saints preserve me it's just a squirrel. Good to know there's food about. I'd better find me a walkin' stick if I expect to make that lake or stream. The Good Lord only knows what else is lurkin' in these woods and I might have to give it a good bash with me stick. There's a good pile of wood right there. I think I'll just grab me one.

Rick
12-07-2007, 01:56 PM
Come on. Here's your chance for a bit of fun and to put your skills to work. Are we gonna let this die? Who's going to post next?

Sarge47
12-07-2007, 06:30 PM
OK, there's a few nice-size branches over there. I'll see what I can find. Hmm, more like a Shelaliegh. Now there's a nice straight one about 6' or so. Looks like Hickory, even better. But is anybody looking for me, should I leave or just make a place to stay right here? Hmmm...........

Ole WV Coot
12-08-2007, 02:11 PM
Nah, look around for a trail made by a dozer or a drunk. Remember you are at the end of it so go back the other way ln the opposite direction of bent trees, weeds and blood on trees that you might have ran into. Next time tie a string to the floor and skip the barstool you won't be on it long.

Rick
12-08-2007, 03:12 PM
Nope. No can do.

Per the instructions:
EDIT: as another note for all you pro-trackers on this forum, let's assume aliens dropped him from the sky and there are no tracks for him to follow back to town.

Meanwhile, back at the brush pile.

Sarge47
12-08-2007, 04:22 PM
What's that movement there in the brush pile? Looks like a Hare, or rabbit as the yanks would say. Reminds me of a joke I used to hear about the guy with a mouth like a rabbit, none of the girls would have anything to do with him because he was a "hare-lip"...oh, now that's bad that is.:rolleyes:

Beo
12-10-2007, 09:33 AM
And then night set in and I was bloody cold, so I built a fire using a bow drill and my shoe lace. Built a lean-to and settled in for the night. That's when the big grizzy came wondering into my camp and ate me up. So ye see Saint Peter, I do belong in heaven.

trax
12-10-2007, 05:40 PM
Sorry guys, it's Ireland, how lost can he be when there's a pub within 50 meters in any direction? Besides if there isn't he can walk any direction and find his way to the ocean, right? It's an island that's running out of trees. Stick him somewhere else and I'll try to contribute a little more positively.

MCBushbaby
12-10-2007, 06:08 PM
Sorry guys, it's Ireland, how lost can he be when there's a pub within 50 meters in any direction? Besides if there isn't he can walk any direction and find his way to the ocean, right? It's an island that's running out of trees. Stick him somewhere else and I'll try to contribute a little more positively.

Where did I say it was in Ireland? I said he was Irish.

trax
12-10-2007, 06:13 PM
Where did I say it was in Ireland? I said he was Irish.

Good point, then he truly is doomed because he's going to go into potato withdrawals in the next few minutes LMAOOO. Sorry, I'll try to do better than that.

Rick
12-10-2007, 08:28 PM
And Trax is stepping to plate. He's knocking the dirt off his cleats. There's the wind up. Ssstttrrrrrriiiiiiikkkkkkkkeeeeeee! Folks that one was right down the middle.

Rick
12-10-2007, 08:34 PM
I've got a while before night fall. I'll bet I can make that lake straight way. I've got to have something to drink before long. Me poor throat is parched. What's this? A wee little mushroom growin' right where me stick was a layin'.

Sarge47
12-10-2007, 09:10 PM
Don't think I'll eat it though, had one earlier and It must have been the kind that gives you halluc...halluc...visions. Thought a Grizzly Bear had eaten me. But if I don't eat, I could die...in a week or so. Don't think I'll eat it, but I'm getting awful thirsty...

Rick
12-10-2007, 09:28 PM
You know. I'm really ashamed about that but I just couldn't let the story go without a mushroom reference. Yea, I know. My bad.

Sarge47
12-10-2007, 09:30 PM
Actually it gave us an "out" for the "Grizzly Bear" situation.:D

Smok
12-10-2007, 11:50 PM
As I set here recovering from my visions I came to the realization that may main concern right now is water ,so I got may stick and got moving in the duration of what I hope is water. AS I move thought these woods I begin to wonder how I came to be here and why . Did I piss someone off , if so how and who maybe one of the girls boy friends or could it be Tommy the loan shark . O well that does not matter right now , now I have to get water and get out of these woods . Its funny but the first thing I always ask myself is , is this Earth I on and if I am still on Earth then it's not so bad .so is this Earth?? A stream maybe 50' wide and clear, good I am so thirsty but is the water good to drink ? Better not chance it .

Rick
12-11-2007, 08:59 AM
I'll bet it was that chick from the bar. No doubt slipped me a mickey. I learned a long time ago there's only two rules when it comes to women and neither of 'em work. At least I hung on to me bottle.

Sarge47
12-11-2007, 01:04 PM
Lucky I did that stint in the British SAS under Sergeant Bear Gylls. Look over there, an old book bag/day pack. Hmmm, one strap is broken but I think I can work around that. And is that a discarded coffee can? Now if I can just find an elephant turd.....:rolleyes:

Rick
12-11-2007, 03:14 PM
You are bad to the bone! This was actually McGyver stomping ground.

Smok
12-12-2007, 03:57 AM
Ok so if there is trash I must not be that far from a road or a trail thank God because I thought I was miles and miles from no were . Now to the fire Ive only got so many matches so I need to carry the fire with me .

Rick
12-17-2007, 07:03 PM
Just in case anyone is concerned enough to send out search and rescue, I might want to leave a wee bit of trail for someone to follow. I'll just drag some, uhg, of these limbs, oh me achin' back, over here and make a nice big arrow pointin' toward that lake. Me lips are as dry as in the inside of me own granny's oven.

Sarge47
12-17-2007, 11:17 PM
Not bad for an old Irish Bar-fly, that SAS Trainin', who'd a-thought? OK, here's me inventory: Got me pocket knife, an' it's a sharp 'un; Me wallet with me ID, hmm, in case I don't make it out of here they can ID the body; couple a coins; couple of peanuts, best save them for later; a napkin with that chick's phone number and me ball-point pen; Empty beer bottle, make a good water bottle, that would; me walking staff, a large coffee can I can use to boil water in, and a wee backpack that I've tied the straps together so's I can sling it "caddy-whompus" over me shoulder, Think I'll carry every thing but me knife, wallet, coins, 'n staff in the pack, that way I'll have them all together. Now that I've left directions I'll be findin' that lake afore it gets too dark!

Beo
12-18-2007, 12:26 PM
Ohh bullocks... under a log I found a Ranger Rick Survival Necklace, now I know I'll be okay cause I can survive anything with this wankers necklace :D

Sarge47
12-18-2007, 07:18 PM
Nah, it wasn't a necklace, just a snake; lucky for me it was only a garter snake! Durn mushroom is still messin' with me head a bit!:D

Pan
12-22-2007, 08:40 PM
Ok made it to the lake. Me gullet sa drie can ardly keep talkin ta maself. I can see ther are fish here from the jumpin'. Ill take some od these nice stones and make a fish trap in tha mornin'. First i need ta figure out a way tho make this water drinkable. i remember once i drank straight from a river and had the worst case of vomiting and cramps ya ever saw. and it's gettin dark real fast.

Rick
12-22-2007, 08:46 PM
Of course it wasn't as bad as some of the binges I've been on. Still, I'll not be doin' that agin'. Let me see, I have me bottle. I could boil some water in it. But I need to build a bloomin' fire first.

Pan
12-22-2007, 09:00 PM
theres a split piece of old ceder over there, fr a fire board. and i got me laces . hmm now for a hard wood spindle.

Sarge47
12-22-2007, 09:05 PM
Or I could just use the matches in me pocket instead of doing everything the hardway, Gotta conserve me energy.:rolleyes:

Pan
12-22-2007, 09:08 PM
ah im glad i thought of that guess ill gather some wood. and a few sticks for figure 4 building while i sit by me fire. Its just too dark for shelter building ill have to rough it tonight.

Pan
12-22-2007, 09:13 PM
well me fire's built if i can just remember how to build this... its been a while hmm lets see http://www.wilderness-survival-skills.com/deadfalltrap.html

Rick
12-22-2007, 09:17 PM
I better think on that a minute. Meanwhile. I'm so dry I'm coughing dust. I'll go fill me bottle up with water and see if I can boil up something to drink. The last thing I need is for the bottle to crack on me from the heat.

Pan
12-22-2007, 09:21 PM
wel me bottle's filled. startin to get some coals but not enough yet to boil and need to keep me main fire alight. guess Ill build me a tripod to suspend me bottle and dig another pit for me coals while the fire makesme some then.

Sarge47
12-22-2007, 11:47 PM
Got to gather more firewood, it's going to be chilly tonight.

Rick
12-23-2007, 03:26 PM
Well, I wasted two good matches on startin' that blasted fire so I sure don't want it to be burnin' out with only one left. There's plenty of sticks and such layin' about but I need something a bit bigger and that means farther back into the woods. Night is gonna be here soon and me with no shelter. It's a sad tell for certain. Let's see, 555-1234, 555-1234, 555-1234. I'll not be forgettin' her number just in case I get of here or somethin' happens to this napkin.

Sarge47
12-26-2007, 10:21 PM
Dang it's cold. I didn't sleep much, but did managed a nap or two. Ahh, there's the sun comin' up makin' a pretty red sunrise. How's that old sayin' go again? Red sky in the mornin'....:eek: